I don’t even know a knife guy, and this is still hilarious!
I use my SAK’s special tool for helping to get old ladies out of horses’ hooves.
(But an SAK is a tool, not a “knife” like the one the idiot here has. And I’m glad that was a US skit, because it would not be so funny here in UK right now. Anyone with a knife over here is not gonna boast about it, but just use it.)
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And a hip flask.
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So the gentleman part of this is if someone has forgotten their lighter and cannot light their own candle and say excuse me kind sir may I borrow your lighter so as to light the candle for my Bagna caoda?
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The clever workaround to this is carrying an xacto blade on you. If you’re the sort to draw a lot that is, in my younger years i always carried at all times a pencil case, which had the xacto blade holder and a pack of super sharp blades. I accidentally traveled on airplanes with them for years before i realized i probably shouldn’t be taking them to the airport.
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I used my knife just yesterday to help a lady open a bag of kitty litter so she could put it under her wheels (while I was helping push her stuck car out of a snowdrift).
I have this tiny little knife on my keychain. I call it the TSA special, because usually it goes past them.
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You are (nearly) my hero. 
And at a pinch, that nail-filey/screwdrivery thing might prise an old lady out of a horse’s hoof just enough to then cut her free, but I wouldn’t rely on it. But your TSA special is better than nothing though, and far, far better than a “knife”, for sure. Good choice.
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Reason to carry a small cutting tool: Opening extremely durable plastic packaging, that’s been sealed around a small delicate device or part.
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I typed this with a knife.
So I should be fine.
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Many restaurants frown on customers removing dowels from the chair to make a bow-drill.
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The Gerber Dime has a blade specifically intended for this task with a reverse angle so you can pull the blade instead of pushing it. I have yet to try it, but having sliced my hand open on more than one occasion while trying to open that tough plastic, I like the idea.
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As someone who has spent a long time trying to find the perfect EDC pocket knife under $30, I feel attacked. (Current top contender is the CRKT Squid.)
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Indeed. But needing to always display your pen or multi-tool or hip flask or knife isn’t gentlemanly at all.
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I bewildered by a world where they can make plastic that strong, but couldn’t get the tiles to stick to the space shuttle.
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On the other hand, I’d rather that those who are so inclined keep to trying to one-up each other by comparing knives rather than actually dropping their pants.
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I think the purpose of that packaging is to require you to destroy it so completely that you’d be embarrassed to return a defective product.
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It’s not an either or proposition?
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I guess it depends on how much one’s knives, hip flasks, and multitools weigh down one’s trousers.
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Carry a purse.
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