Sure, boiling oil will ruin anybody’s day. But the nice thing about steam is there is all this water around. You have to carry the oil. Also, clean it up afterwards. This way you just roll the cooked meat off the edge.
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I saw a documentary where a cargo ship had bundles of long metal rods strapped to the sides. Pirates roar up in their rib, you cut the cords on the rods, rods go into the water, pirates immediately veer off or lose their prop.
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If my time in infosec in a university is any indication, it’ll still be running XP in 15 years. I recently came across a Windows 2000 machine while doing my periodic ETERNALBLUE vulnerability sweep of the campus network. It’s attached to a $100k spectrometer or some such they can’t afford to replace.
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They can inject sulfuric acid into the steam too. I doubt they have any defense against having their skin both scalded and chemically attacked.
Here’s two little gems from 2007 and 2009:
https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/02/windows_for_war_1.html
I don’t know what would be state of the art now and for merchant ships, but:
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At issue is the fact that critical ship control systems, including IP-to-serial converters, GPS receivers or the Voyage Data Recorder (VDR), tend to be easily compromised; some on-board devices for instance still run Windows XP and Windows NT, and converters rarely have their admin passwords changed.
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There is also a very traditional defense option and that is shotguns and AK-47 rifles. There are also qualified people willing to use them on other people for a wage.
If I was very worried about actual sea pirates, I’d rather have a couple of gun-toting ne’er-do-wells than some steamy irritants.
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Maritime law for international waters stipulates that the law of the country who’s flag the vessel is legally sailing under applies aboard ship. Most countries allow lethal self-defense against non-state boarders (meaning pirates as opposed to for example coast guard). Given what pirates routinely do to their captives - rob, rape, murder and enslave - you’d be hard-pressed to get anyone to sail your ships if they could be prosecuted for lethal self-defense against them.
I’m guessing Anti Piracy Lead is more effective.
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I recall a scene from the film The Sand Pebbles where crewmen of the San Pueblo used high pressure steam (from a hand-held hose) to repel boarders. Something like that would work but for armed boarders. Otherwise…
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Sure, which is why they can add a steam “cleaning system” and no one will do more than smile, but if they mounted a few antique puckle guns, they’d probably be over the line in most ports.
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That was fascinating. I can see why the Royal Navy didn’t consider it super-practical, but I admire the thoughtfulness of the design.
In port perhaps. But I’d guess the relevant laws have more to do with mounted firearms and chemicals than their intended purpose. I’ve heard of suggestions to use Q-ships to lure current-day pirates, but AFAIK no country has actually tried it.
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Yes, I enjoy that channel, especially for the historical weapons. He likes them and the engineering, but he’s not sweaty about it.
Flintlocks were the technology of the day for hand weapons, but ship cannons were probably still touched off with slow matches. (Treated smoldering rope.) I wonder if the navy thought that pushing a firing lever was unmanly? (Or maybe they carefully tested it in field conditions and found that it was iffy?)
Multiple magazines, well before the ideas of precision parts and standard gauges really kicked in are remarkable. If anyone runs a period RPG, the Puckle Gun deserves a place.
In port perhaps. But I’d guess the relevant laws have more to do with mounted firearms and chemicals than their intended purpose. I’ve heard of suggestions to use Q-ships to lure current-day pirates, but AFAIK no country has actually tried it.
I think that there are YouTube videos of armed anti-pirate activity, including ones of merchant ships that load mercenary teams at sea.
It’s hard to feel any sympathy for the pirates, but they are usually from places where someone did drown the government in a bathtub.
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Hadn’t even thought of that, but could be so. It seems like a comparatively expensive and pretty technical weapon for the period though, with a marginal advantage over a squad of musketeers and more points of failure despite the fairly ingenious design.
Oil first, then cook 'em with steam. Prevents them from sticking.
Although, if I recall my Martin Yan correctly, “Hot wok, food no stick!”. So you’d need to heat, oil, then cook.
Easier to get takeout.
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Man, If I were ever to fly the Jolly Roger, this sort of atrack looks mighty tempting.
But my prime directive when it comes to stealing things, is that it’s not enough that I want something that’s not (yet) mine. I also have to want the other bloke not to have it any more. Which makes things more complicated, amd keeps me more honest.
You’ve pretty much hit the nail on the head. Shipping companies generally hire mercenaries and razor wire the perimeter when going into pirate territory.
Container ships and bulk carriers can have as fewer crew as 15 people that are not trained in combat and given the massive perimeter distance razor wire and guns for hire is good economics. Also it is pretty well known where the pirates are likely to be.
Um… 50 C is just a very hot day in many parts of the world.
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Given that piracy is on the rise in West Africa, and countries have understandable concerns about allowing people to cruise around with guns and/or armed guards, this makes a lot of sense. I remember some years back there was a design being touted for a cannon that fired tennis balls at ne’erdowells.
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To avoid being caught with guns and ammunition, the mercenaries collect them from floating armouries anchored in international waters. Of course someone has to take the risk of smuggling the hardware out to the floating armoury.
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They did eventually switch to flintlocks, I think during the Napoleonic War. At Trafalgar, the British fleet had flintlocks on their guns but the French didn’t. There were various problems in field conditions, including the tin tubes of gunpowder used for priming flying out of the touchhole and injuring the crew- the tubes were eventually replaced with safer goose quills.
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