Apartment Buildings Are Adding Office-like Cafeterias To Complete Your Remote Work Hell

Originally published at: Apartment Buildings Are Adding Office-like Cafeterias To Complete Your Remote Work Hell | Boing Boing

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The continual blurring of the lines between home and work aside, this doesn’t seem terrible. Encouraging neighbours of “vertical communities” to get to know each-other in a more organic way on a daily basis is a good thing. Also, who doesn’t love the Automat, especially when it’s offering high-quality dishes?

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Delivering poor nutrition, obesity, and diabetes to your door. No thanks…

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A number of years ago I was working on a short story about a mega-city where people live, work, eat, and die in the same building. Entire lives lived without ever leaving the structure.

Guess I should have finished it, huh? I would have been “prescient.” Welp, no time like the present…

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I see how it could be interesting.
If one is in a condo where the nearest shop is a long walk, and one hasn’t a big freezer, it could be an interesting solution. In a condo downtown with shops downstairs this isn’t a really interesting option.
Why have an office style cafeteria when one could go the pub next block?

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I confess, when we got this at where I worked, I found it super convenient. And honestly probably healthier than going out for burgers and tacos.

But I say go all the way with the concept and bring back the automat.

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Is there a microwave where someone will heat up leftover fish? Can’t have an office kitchen without that.
Bonus points if someone burns a bag of popcorn.

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Almost forgot - I worked at an office where someone brought in a whole raw chicken and proceeded to cut it up on the counter before heating up a couple pieces in the microwave to make a chicken salad.
This person worked in HR, BTW.

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That doesn’t seem like the smartest thing to do during a plague. “Hey, people should stay at home so we don’t spread the death cough…and as long as people are staying at home why don’t we get everyone in the apartment to come to one room around lunch time?”

(also: I could totally go for some Fritos! Do those machines take debit cards I don’t have any change…mmmmmm junk fooooooood!)

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I couldn’t agree more. It’s so strange though the whole reason many started working from home was to avoid contact with other people.
Here’s hoping they continue to keep it local, and keep their automobiles off the thoroughfares.

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Soul cooking, straight from ghost kitchens.

Somehow I doubt anything this posh would ever show up in my old Flemingdon Park building.

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… as long as they cleaned up after themselves?

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Yes. And ApplePay/GooglePay, if your device is set up for it.

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No. That’s gross.
Corporate office kitchens are for getting a soda, heating up leftovers (not fish) and getting a snack.
Not chopping up raw chicken. Do that shit at home.

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Wait, what? They can get delivery of the same food, made to order, from less than 10 miles away, but somehow getting it from a warm box in the lobby where it’s been sitting for who knows how long is better? My first thought was that this will lead to more food waste than we already see…
Seems like they might accomplish the same general thing but with less food waste if they established communal order forms for residents…

ETA: and on top of the food waste, the energy. Egads. Coke’s biggest energy suck isn’t manufacturing or transportation, it’s vending machines. Outsourced, of course.

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This is all well and good, but can we agree right now before things go too far that we don’t want our landlords managing our health benefits?

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I’m surprised nobody has thought to can burned popcorn smell for the home office, or maybe a Yankee Candle.

It could be a whole line: Yankee Candle Office Enchantments. First fragrances would be Microwaved Fish, Burnt Popcorn, and Neglected Coffeemaker.

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Goes with this website https://imisstheoffice.eu/
Right after lockdown, I remember the link floating around. I thought it was pretty clever. I like how you can increase or decrease the number of people.

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You are going with the picture of vending machines. The described risottos, lasagnas, etc. are probably healthier than what you eat on a daily basis.

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