Audubon Society of Portland issues statement on Vanilla ISIS occupation of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge

pretty sure that’s Chris Parnell.

Parnell is known for playing Cyril on Archer.

The Fed stole the land that our ancestors stole fair and square from the Injuns and by golly we want it back! It’s unAmurcan I tell ya.

Please be “careful” with the pronunciation of his last name. Accent on the “E”, please:

if #BLM protested BLM, nobody would notice. It’s a lot of empty space out there.

And their real gripes boil down to they want that land like their great grand pappys got land, land taken away from the Paiute, for them, by the government… that has… uh… no place out there?

It’s basically affluenza, for yokels.

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It frustrates me that something so well-written has little more than a soapbox on a Gawker thread, while drivel by the column-foot is allocated a nationally-syndicated pedestal.

Thanks for being the people’s microphone.

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These people couldn’t tell you the ingredients of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

I am stealing that and using it ruthlessly for the rest of my life.

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It’s…JELLY!! Right?!? Oh, one more thing, huh? MUSLIMS! ENRAGED JIHADIST MUSLIMS!! No? Uh…ATHEISTS!! ATHEISTS WHO WANT TO SPERMIFY THE TEN COMMANDMENTS!!! Oh? Like, there’s no people as ingredients? Hmmm…did I say bread? Maybe it’s just bread.

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You don’t know Doctor Spaceman?

You are going to die.

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That reminds me so much of this:

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Can you imagine how much we could do in this country if our legislatures were filled with this sort of public servant (of any and all political stripes)?

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Wow. Just… wow.

Trying to figure out what word (simultaneously pride and alarm and schadenfreude) applies to what I feel viewing the ever-articulate Mr. Frank handling this scene with such aplomb. Relief? No, that doesn’t describe it either…

I thought Texas leads the nation with inaccurate and bizarre soapboxing–to wit, what my state governor said last October:

Yep:

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