Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/11/28/bad-sex-in-fiction-award-final.html
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Possibly the same woman?
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That part and what follows is horrible, but i actually quite like
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When are they going to launch the Bad Sex in Reality awards? I’m pretty sure I’d at least make it as a finalist.
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Janet Ellis?
Blue Peter Janet Ellis? Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s mum?
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“No, I’m laughing because you’re big, no really I am… aw come on, stop putting your pants back on…”
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I actually witnessed some of the worst - or at least weirdest - sex in a dream I had the night before last. It was like some weird movie I was watching from outside myself, where Jennifer Connelly had developed a genetic patch which rendered a person so violently horny that they needed to copulate or they would die, kind of like Pon Farr. She decided to test it, knowing that there was a risk she might die, or fuck somebody to death. Kyle MacLachlan arrived and she frantically explained to him that she had just taken the patch and that he should leave while he still could. But then Kyle shrieks and bellows and starts ripping his own clothes off, revealing that he had a patch which was now transforming him into a humanoid lion/shrimp hybrid with a three-foot long prehensile phallus with articulated plated joints and rows of waggling feelers down the sides. The two of them roared and started up on each other, instantly beginning to demolish the room. I started to retreat and awakened in a real “WTF” moment.
So, my own subconscious earned my “bad sex in fiction award”.
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That’s actually the plot for Mulholland Drive 2.
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You’d better stay away from Taco Bell. 
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Sounds like an old hobo with osteoarthritis.
Maybe that’s your thing, I don’t judge.
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Oh i ain’t talking “good” as sex-related, just good as imagery. The mud/dry contrast is starting to bother me though.
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