As SssubTerry bends to lift the barrel onto Stegma, the fake label falls off, revealing a real label already affixed to the barrel’s side.
MOOSE URINE. PROPER DISPOSAL REQUIRED.
Well… damn.
Wow! Much better than the excuse I would have come up with!
2 Likes
Objective 2 “transport the drink across the Encampment: difficulty 12”
Heaving and straining, Grunter manages to manhandle the barrel safely into the shadows of an alley across from the tavern. Realising he’ll never be able to carry it across the camp on his own, he leans on the keg to catch his breath and come up with a plan.
As he’s thinking, two burly figures appear at the end of the alleyway. They close in on him rapidly and the slightly burlier of the men leers menacingly.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. A person should be careful where he goes around here after dark. Anything could happen. Luckily for you we came along when we did. Now, if you’ll just hand over your valuables we’ll make sure we don’t hurt you too much.”
Grunter smiles a nasty little smile. Then explodes into a short but controlled burst of violence that leaves the would-be muggers groaning on the floor, clutching their delicate bits. Relieving them of their weapons and bulging money pouches, he bends over them and speaks in a quiet tone that suggests more violence could happen at any point:
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Now, here’s what’s going to happen: you muppets are going to stop whimpering and get up. Then you’re going to deliver this keg to the Gilded Goose for me. When it gets there safely, I might think about giving you have back some of these sparkly things you had in your pockets. If the keg doesn’t make it to the Goose quickly, and in one piece, I’ll be upset. And when I’m upset I tend to get a little… leg-breaky. Understand? Good.”
Unstable Squaddie (4)
@discbot roll 4d6
3 Likes
@uphill the 4d6 dice reads: 14 (4,4,2,4)
Objective 3 “Convince Amma to accept the drink: difficulty 8”
Now that he’s got the keg safely back to the Gilded Gosling, Grunter is deep in conversation with Amma, trying to convince her to take it.
“C’mon Amma, hear me out. I liberated this keg from some ruins out west. The place was so full of booby traps I nearly lost my hat. I know what you’re going to say, this thing belongs in a museum…”
“-so do you.”
“…but this is the good stuff. Really good. And look how well preserved the barrel is - you can tell it’s going to be delicious. I don’t even want payment - you can have it. All I want is to make sure it goes to a good home. Ok, maybe you could owe me a favor.”
“Maybe… We could definitely do with the stock. It’s been tricky establishing a regular supply line out here.”
While Amma’s back is turned, an especially rowdy patron reaches over the bar and is filling their mug from one of the taps. Grunter spots him and, with a flick of his wrist, his bullwhip unfurls across the room and wraps around the punter’s arm. A firm tug on the whip and the beer thief is on the floor, covered in his spilt drink, much to the amusement of his compatriots.
Amma grins, “Ok Silas, you have a deal.”
Action Archeologist (3)
@discbot roll 3d6
4 Likes
@uphill the 3d6 dice reads: 12 (3,4,5)
2 Likes
Success!
Grunter pulls up a stool in the corner of the Gosling. “Hey Amma, can I get cold beer and a basket of those spicy chicken wings? Drinks for my friends SssubTerry and D’Melzaa over there too - looks like they’ve had a tough night.”
5 Likes
The moose looks at your clearly better hand, and back at his. There are two Diamond Queens! The deck was rigged! The moose glance furtively at each other then make a sudden collective grab at the pot, and leap out of there. One of the moose fumbles a flagon, but fractures into several pieces, and is now a sticky caltrop puddle.
3 Likes
I hate those meeses to pieces.
4 Likes
Now you’re a cautionary tale.
1 Like
Dad said at Ridwhick Encampment I should drop by the Squatting Dwarf. Not the most exciting watering hole, but where the serious traders gather. Said I’d see familiar faces. Sure enough, as I walked-in I immediately recognized a half-dozen faces. At the same table. With my cousin Klrmfmp – Glumpf’s girl.
“Boring Bent! what the hell are you doing here!”
“Same as you, I imagine. Looking for A Deal”
“Hah! Yeah hear that” Klrmfmp snorted to companions, “Bent here is the worst negotiator our family’s seen in three generations. That boy couldn’t close a deal if you put a doorknob on it!”
I turned beet red as Strix’s talons dug into my shoulders. This was going south, fast.
"We call this half-assed Mancer, ‘Boring Bent’ " my cousin continued “This kid prattles on and on about the ‘treasures’ mouldering away at the decrepit U-Store-It his family huddles in”
“Ustoret House is the finest manse in the County” I said indignantly.
"Only because you live in a shitty county "
" But our fine rooms include —"
“Don’t let him get started.” Klrmfump cut me off. “His endless drone is the only known cross-species insomnia cure!”
That hurt. Not because she was rude, but because she was right.
“Let me guess. You’re here to find a party to join for the caverns.”
“Aren’t we all? in the meantime, Amma looks like she could use a bit more variety in her inventory.”
“okay, little Boring Boy, you go find a way to get a cask over to the Gosling. Everyone’s got to start somewhere-- and Heaven knows you are going to need a lot of practice before you’re up to our family’s standards. In the meantime, you mind leaving me alone? We working out six way deal for sheep, wheat, stone, timber, clay, and two development cards. Don’t want you screwing it up.”
I left for a corner booth to think.
I needed to do three things. First, I need to find a cask to liberate. With Klrmfmp 's help, that seems easy enough. She’s still family. She’ll help. Likewise, getting the cask across the camp seems easy enough if I could get a little help with the haulage. I may be a boring, but do make Hella distracting distractions.
But then I needed to convince Amma. That’s a tough one. Klrmfmp’s right: I’m not the most persuasive fellow. I need a partner – some one to help with the talking.
I need to “buddy up” to get this done. @donald_petersen and @daneel have already taking one stab at this – may they can help. Surely there are others.
Wanna Join me on this mission? Should be fun. I’ll be here at the Squatting Dwarf. and I love PMs.
@glutnix: I am jumping the gun on teamwork, as I will be at Burning Man aug 29th to Sept 9th and not able to participate in the first round. Thus, I can try out the group rules for others to see. As the saying goes, “If you can’t be a Good Example, you can at least by a Horrible Warning”
“Bent” Chemist Mancer
6 Likes
Behind the Squatting Dwarf lay their brewing cavern.
Vats and fermenters, casks and kegs, all strewn about
as only dwarves can assemble the cogs of their machinery.
Near one of the cooling vats where brew was dry-hopping,
a certain bundle of beard was conspicuously trying to look inconspicuous,
waiting for the shift brewers to take their break and leave an opening.
A hole.
Rolling: Pokehair Face (2)
@discbot roll 2d6 for Pokehair Face (2)
1 Like
@funruly the 2d6 dice reads: 8 for Pokehair Face (2) (2,6)
Success!
The shift brewers took their break, naturally assuming that any idiot standing around
idly looking at vat placards must be a manager.
And, since they didn't recognize the stiff, concluded it must be a New Manager™.
Knowing the propensity with which New Managers™ like to go on Break™ with
the workers and try to force social affinity, the brewers scrambled.
And Tunnelweed was alone. To take a quick swim in the dry-hop vat.
Exiting the vat, and sopping wet with wort, the next challenges emerged:
- Can Tunnelweed cross the encampment un-noticed and un-hindered?
- Will there be a suitable empty cask behind the Gosling?
- How much brew can be wrung out of a hairy dwarf?
- What would it pair with? A nice Roquefort?
Rolling: Follicle Spectacle (4)
@discbot roll 4d6 for Follicle Spectacle (4)
5 Likes
@funruly the 4d6 dice reads: 10 for Follicle Spectacle (4) (2,5,2,1)
5 Likes
I’m actually kinda impressed.
http://www.thedarkfortress.co.uk/tech_reports/tech_assets/4-dice-charts.gif
Because @bizmail_public asked, I have prepared the teamwork rules.
Teamwork
Missions marked Teamwork N will require planning. A team should elect a Challenger for each challenge. The N describes the limits on team size. The same player could be the challenger for each challenge, but this should really be shared around.
A challenger must attempt their challenge as normal: Tell us what you’re trying to do, which cliche you have that fits that best, and roll.
If any of their teammates are also helping at this challenge, tell us what your character is ordering the other characters to do, and which cliche they have that fits best, and roll. Ignore any dice that come up 1 through 5. Add the 6s to the challenger’s roll.
Everyone should get a go at roleplaying through the mission. Improv rules. “Yes and…” will be key. Respect other people’s characters
If a challenger fails a roll:
- Any teammate whose cliche was rolled against in the failed attempt can volunteer to take 2 points against that cliche. This could be the challenger or another teammate.
- The challenger will try the same challenge again, but this time can roll their own cliche with 2x the regular dice!
- If someone volunteers, they may also assume the challenger role.
- If the challenger volunteers themselves for the damage, they still gain the 2x bonus.
- If no-one volunteers within 48 hours of the dice bot’s roll, or everyone else in the team posts to decline, the challenger may assign 1 damage to any helping teammate and no-one gets a 2x bonus.
- The new/existing challenger tells us what happened, and what they do to attempt the same challenge, with the same or new cliches. Teammates may still lend their sixes but is not doubled.
If any one team member’s cliche is reduced to 0, the whole team fails the mission:
- Every helping team member loses 1 point to the cliche last tested.
- Someone from outside the team (or the GM) tells us how the failure went down.
1 Like
As a Stealth Pirate, I seem to have an advantage in this challenge, but I’ve eaten words like that before. Liberating a cask from a dark, disorganized encampment like this, though? Cake. Mmm, cake.
I found a good target at the edges of the encampment - I suppose you could call it a bar, but it’s inside a heavy canvas miner’s tent. Actually, it appears they’ve stitched together about six standard miner’s tents. I’ll just slip under the flap in the back and slip right back out.
Cliche: Stealth Pirate (3)
@discbot roll 3d6
2 Likes
@penguinchris the 3d6 dice reads: 9 (2,5,2)
