“Ow! Damn. Well, that oughta do for now, anyway.”
Fzzzt-clik!
“Spaceman Ass (hee hee hee!), do you copy?”
“Ass here. What’s so goddamned funny?”
“Ha ha ha… nothing! Hey, you about done with your sector?”
“Just wrapped it up. Heading in.”
“Swing by HR after you offload. They need to see you.”
“They do?”
“No, actually, you need to see them. Something about your mascot.”
One hour later…
Sssssshhhhh-clink!
“***Jones!!***”
“What?”
“The hell is this?!”
“What? Cats need potassium, too.”
“Jones, that’s my shipmate!”
“Seriously? Smelled too sweet to be a member of this crew.”
"I just got chewed out for either possession of an unregistered pet or harboring a stowaway (scale was hard to determine from the photo), plus abetting the assault of a duly enlisted crewfruit, plus unauthorized fraternization with same… "
“Hey, you can’t deny that banana had… (snerk) appeal! (gigglegigglegiggle)”
“Holy shit, if I still had my helmet on I’d void the airlock and space you right now where you stand!”
“Hypocrite. Like you never had any vegetation in your cloaca…”
“And what in Herpeton’s name is up with the monkey suit?!”
“Huh? Oh. That. Uh… I was cold.”
“You was cold?! You’re covered in fur!! Your species evolved on a planet five AU from its Class 2 primary! You can survive hard vacuum at absolute zero for over an hour!”
“It was drafty in there.”
“Lizardshit. In where?”
“The produce hold.”
“And what were you doing in there?”
“Lickin’ on a nannersicle, looks like.”
“How have you not gotten us both thrown off this ship yet?!”
“I make myself useful. Like the upgrades to our quarters?”
“Sure. A carpeted platform on a scratching post, a porthole bunk with artificial sunlight for basking, and a vermin infestation.”
“Those are snacks, imported at considerable expense for highly valued guests.”
“And useless to me. They crap little pellets into my boots. How do you get all this stuff?”
“Like I said: I make myself useful. Like so: hold still.”
“What are you doing?”
“Duct-taping your new LIDAR units to your suit. You’re scanning the airlocks of the Black Swan. If you hurry up and get out there, you’ll have first crack at 'em, since nobody else has taken the mission yet, last I checked.”
“LIDAR units? Where’d you get those?”
“Ship’s stores. Charged 'em to your account.”
“Stop hacking my debit card, you flea-bitten alleycat!!”
“Sure, sure. get a move on!”
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY 2 LIDAR
MISSION 2
END
