I believe these results are fraudulent and I intend to launch a full-scale investigation into the fake results. SAD!
(Sorry, I’ve been visiting my parents this week, and kind of ignored BB.)
Once again, I’m pretty much only qualified for one thing, but I’ll enhance my suit with a fancy LIDAR to improve my chances of choice variety in the next.
All you haters thought I’d never make it. I proved you wrong in a big, big way.
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY 1 Duct_Tape
BUY 1 LIDAR
MISSION 4
END
> iotrap.newliminted: 0x04cec867dd81856b5c2c77489219f246017c621b
“Roger that, newliminted - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✖ buy 1 duct_tape
[ERR] 1 does not appear to be in stock this round. :(
✖ buy 1 lidar
[ERR] 1 does not appear to be in stock this round. :(
✔ mission 4Hrm. I’m not doing very well with this Tweetomatic 9000. I usually just have one of my staff do the ordering.
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY Duct_Tape
BUY LIDAR
MISSION 4
END
> iotrap.newliminted: 0x4b73ddae970f2517edaef66bf8057535969058e0
“Roger that, newliminted - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✔ buy duct_tape
✔ buy lidar
✔ mission 4
What I’m hoping here is that you are asking for my help in detecting what made that brown fecal-matter-looking stain on your suit, and that you’re NOT blaming me for said stain. You’re NOT blaming me, are you?
Yeah, I thought not. SO lemme take a sniff… I detect the scent of… aquatic plants… tall prairie grasses… a hint of fresh shrubbery.
You know what you have there? I’ll give you a hint:
“From where I’m running, that looks like a standard GIF economy if you ask me.”
“You are the finest application for duct tape, if you ask me.”
Damn it. This Lidar interface will not mount to my suit. It has a USB Q plug and this suit has USB O- jack. Hopefully they’ll let me take it back.
And now that I look at it, there are a lot of folks looking to take on those Space eels. While I’ll miss out on the Glory, I guess I’ll see what else works for me…
Let’s see, since this damn Lidar wonk connect the Pop n Lock isn’t for me, but the Booster Pack would help my EVA out enough … I guess I’ll go scavenge the bridge.
@Kassandra SUBMIT
PAY 10 @Glutnix
BUY Booster_Jet
MISSION 3
END
> iotrap.wisconsinplatt: 0x2d9de48d4ac29ded0f3bf5fcff2475041ac0cd70
“Roger that, wisconsinplatt - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✔ pay 10 @glutnix
✔ buy booster_jet
✔ mission 3“I’ll be very glad to have your back taking on the robo-bridge,
Hieronymoose.”
@Donald_Petersen I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS JONESEY!!!
Mission Update
As of Friday night,
4 scavengers have a test for eel (Mission 1),
NO scavengers have signed up to check out the airlocks (Mission 2)
5 scavengers will be dodging the defense system on the bridge (Mission 3)
3 scavengers want to play Amateur Scientist (Mission 4)
Tex Ass (@Donald_petersen), Dottie (@old), Coccinea M Ornatus (@othermichael), Ester (@penguin_chris) and Seelo Lionoppolis (@SeaLion) have yet to check in.
Does someone want to check my estimates for mission 2 – did I make a mistake? I would expect the missions to be pretty even – perhaps the item is more likely or more valuable than I realized?
Be Safe Out There!
–Hans Landau
“Ow! Damn. Well, that oughta do for now, anyway.”
Fzzzt-clik!
“Spaceman Ass (hee hee hee!), do you copy?”
“Ass here. What’s so goddamned funny?”
“Ha ha ha… nothing! Hey, you about done with your sector?”
“Just wrapped it up. Heading in.”
“Swing by HR after you offload. They need to see you.”
“They do?”
“No, actually, you need to see them. Something about your mascot.”
One hour later…
Sssssshhhhh-clink!
“***Jones!!***”
“What?”
“The hell is this?!”
“What? Cats need potassium, too.”
“Jones, that’s my shipmate!”
“Seriously? Smelled too sweet to be a member of this crew.”
"I just got chewed out for either possession of an unregistered pet or harboring a stowaway (scale was hard to determine from the photo), plus abetting the assault of a duly enlisted crewfruit, plus unauthorized fraternization with same… "
“Hey, you can’t deny that banana had… (snerk) appeal! (gigglegigglegiggle)”
“Holy shit, if I still had my helmet on I’d void the airlock and space you right now where you stand!”
“Hypocrite. Like you never had any vegetation in your cloaca…”
“And what in Herpeton’s name is up with the monkey suit?!”
“Huh? Oh. That. Uh… I was cold.”
“You was cold?! You’re covered in fur!! Your species evolved on a planet five AU from its Class 2 primary! You can survive hard vacuum at absolute zero for over an hour!”
“It was drafty in there.”
“Lizardshit. In where?”
“The produce hold.”
“And what were you doing in there?”
“Lickin’ on a nannersicle, looks like.”
“How have you not gotten us both thrown off this ship yet?!”
“I make myself useful. Like the upgrades to our quarters?”
“Sure. A carpeted platform on a scratching post, a porthole bunk with artificial sunlight for basking, and a vermin infestation.”
“Those are snacks, imported at considerable expense for highly valued guests.”
“And useless to me. They crap little pellets into my boots. How do you get all this stuff?”
“Like I said: I make myself useful. Like so: hold still.”
“What are you doing?”
“Duct-taping your new LIDAR units to your suit. You’re scanning the airlocks of the Black Swan. If you hurry up and get out there, you’ll have first crack at 'em, since nobody else has taken the mission yet, last I checked.”
“LIDAR units? Where’d you get those?”
“Ship’s stores. Charged 'em to your account.”
“Stop hacking my debit card, you flea-bitten alleycat!!”
“Sure, sure. get a move on!”
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY 2 LIDAR
MISSION 2
END
> iotrap.donald_petersen: 0xea5fe59064b34edc38a02718ad59c4cf3f36bc98
“Roger that, donald_petersen - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✖ buy 2 lidar
[ERR] Alas, but I have no way to parse ' buy 2 lidar' as a command. :(
✔ mission 2@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY LIDAR
BUY LIDAR
MISSION 2
END
> iotrap.donald_petersen: 0xa126c2196cc70099c636b4f003ed098a010829a7
“Roger that, donald_petersen - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✔ buy lidar
✔ buy lidar
✔ mission 2For me it was the cost/reward ratio. I’d have to spend 20 juice anyway to get to 21 SEN, I might as well go after the guaranteed fifty along the way.
Tex Ass, did Jonesy just eat someone who owed me 2 juice?
How is this not just like Mars again, you sonofabitch? You are the worst crewmate.
The. Worst.
Watch your step around this guy everyone. If he doesn’t leave you someplace for 550 sols he’ll flat out eat you.
That is messed up.
> nagbot 0x9d205164dc5eba09a28373ca57b292bad717622e
@old @othermichael @sealion @penguinchris
“Yoohooooo! You planning on coming along?”
I didn’t see the dragon out there, but BOY WAS THAT FUN! We went around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around. Why would a record go around, anyhow? Is it a special file type? I thought I was going to puke. Hahahahah! I want to eat like 50 hotdogs with spicy mustard on them and then go do it again. I can’t wait to tell Donna about it. She like hotdogs too. But she puts ketchup on them. That’s gross. My Grandma says Donna’s a savage. A savage is somebody who puts ketchup on their hotdogs.
♩ ♫ Donna is a savage. ♪ ♩ Donna is a savage. ♪ ♫
I don’t want to take a nap. I want to go back outside.
I wanna see the eels. Maybe they know the space dragon and can can take me to see him. They probably already know that I’m a princessballerinafirefighterpastrychefdoctor. If the eels have any boo-boos I could fix them all up and make them some chocolate croissants and they could show me where the space dragon is. I like eels. [repeatedly punching the eel pictograph on the mission selection computer] They are soooooo cute. I could make them some dresses and we could all be princesses together, except I get to be the most princessy princess. And I get to have a purple dress. The eels can have pink dresses, but I get a purple one. I used to like blue, but I don’t anymore.
[Dottie goes from full throttle to fast asleep in three second]
[She slumps on the console pushing more equipment requisition buttons]
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY LIDAR
BUY HARPOON_GUN
MISSION 1
END
