Oh, many apologies.
My people of the `genus canus’ call this respect we pay, “the lap.” Our humanoid companions often refer to them as “kisses,” but it is not a romantic gesture. It’s a sign of mutual respect for each other’s taste.
You seem…unfamiliar with this humaniod-canus tradition?
“Evenin’, scavengers. Missions selections are available for your review. Kassandra should be back online here in a bit to take your orders when you’re ready.”
Kisses? You’re gnawing on my cla- KISSES. Right. Of course, as a human, I kiss all the time! Heh heh, kiss kiss kiss!
Preliminary Mission Analysis
Since folks did a good job spreading out across the missions, we now have some decent measurements. Low Value salvage averages 6 U, standard salvage averages 17 U, High Value averages over 35 U.
This round, regaining a 1 HP costs 1.5 U, while increasing a stat 1 point costs about 5 U.
Given what lies ahead, I would strongly encourage everyone to buy some duct tape - if you run out of HP, it doesn’t matter how much U you have in your pockets, how high your stats, or how awesome your GLO. You’re dead.
Mission 1. 5U plus 18 points of damage suggests an average cost of 32. 30 incentive plus 12 scavenge suggests a net gain of around 10 U, plus this is the only mission that gives GLO
Mission 2 . 5U plus 22 points of damage suggests an average cost of 38. 41 scavenge suggests a meager net gain, but maybe an item. This looks like a “high variance” damage – you might skate by with only scratches, you might get blasted.
Mission 3. 5U plus 16 points of damage suggests an average cost of 29. No incentive but an average scavenge that might be over 70 suggests a safer mission with a wide spread of possible payouts. You might strike it rich, you might get stiffed.
Mission 4. 14 points of damage suggests a average cost of 23. 50 U of incentive. Seems to good to be true – what’s up with that “unusual” salvage?
These estimates are provided on a “best efforts” basis and subject to revision
Be Safe Out There!
–Hans Landau
“So get this: as a gag, I change all the airlock codes. Right? And then…um. Crap, are we live?”
CURRENT STATUS: ACTIVE
ORDER PROCESSING: ONLINE
SUBMISSION DEADLINE: 2017-01-29 18:00:00 -0500
INCARNATION: 0xc724b786f41fc6f30eec97a02aa5218161443e03
> iotrap.critter: 0xca132020a75f1032e449e4de77338e6d24f619f5
“Roger that, critter - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✔ pay 2 @bizmail_public“Well don’t that beat all. She’s retroactively taking order submissions. And it looks like orders are on file for @gwwar as well, even if she didn’t mention it. I’ll talk to ol’ Kass about that for sure.”
A little reading will do me a world of good. One more chapter left in this book, then I think I’ll be able to pick my next mission.
Still can’t decide. Maybe another book will help.
Not quite yet…
Sigh.
Sometimes I just miss my family so damn much that it makes it hard to think straight. How can I ever truly be sure that I’m making the right decisions when my judgment is clouded by emotion?
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY SuitPal_9000
MISSION 4
END
With luck, I’ll be able to earn enough juice to buy my way back into Canis Major and see them again… soon, my darlings, soon…
> iotrap.monkeyoh: 0x49df5ace5be9b697a4d8bfc2345654267c602c1d
“Roger that, monkeyoh - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✖ buy suitpal_9000
[ERR] suitpal_9000 does not appear to be in stock this round. :(
✔ mission 4This cactus is feeling spiky.
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY Booster_Jet
MISSION 3
END
> iotrap.daneel: 0x6294f30eaa7cde7d545dce480f6d08cbeb22cfd3
“Roger that, daneel - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✔ buy booster_jet
✔ mission 3Aww poop - I tested that buy order exactly and swear that it worked. The order is on file correctly and will run correctly at execution time. Looks like it was a SuitPal_500 in the test run. Shop config has been corrected for the new and improved SuitPal_9000!
Can any spare a lobster a Dime?
I am 1 U short for the mission I want.
If someone spots me 1 U on this mission, I’ll pay back 2 U upon completion.
Thanks.
Be Safe Out There!
–Hans Landau
Hans, bubby, I’m your white knight.
I’m happy to cover your 1U deficit.
There for me, there for you.
Oops, I see my totally human peer is also there for you. Anyway, offer stands.
Well this certainly looks infested all right. I never did like eels. They’re very bitey, and the big ones can take you down whole. They are however very delicious in a light soy glaze.
Well, time to clear out the infestation. Salvage waits for no one, especially those who can’t afford duct tape.
@Kassandra SUBMIT
PAY 24 uphill
BUY LIDAR
MISSION 1
END
> iotrap.gwwar: 0x9f514b41406830172d4247ba6ebbf00e06b37f14
“Roger that, gwwar - these orders have been submitted! You can overwrite these orders with a new submission.”
✔ pay 24 uphill
✔ buy lidar
✔ mission 1“ACK! SERIOUSLY, STOP DOING THAT!”
“There’s something over to your upper right, it’s giving off really weird readings on different spectrums”
“YES, STOP CHANGING THE SPECTRA-VISOR SO RAPIDLY ON ME!”
“Okay, I’ll turn off my script. Sorry about that. I didn’t realise that it was actually changing your heads up display. I’m just geeking out about this rock, there’s something exciting about this place”
“YOU’RE STILL SAFE ON THE COLERIDGE, DAKOTA! I’M IN this place, you’re in that place”
“You don’t have to scream – oh, I’ve turned the gain down on your mic. Anyway, look up and right – it’s… purple?”
“I see it. What is it?”
“It’s not registering as anything we’ve seen… it’s about… that can’t be right… it’s got … negative mass?”
“I’M GONNA MINE IT!”
“Wait, Browf, we don’t–”
The recording cuts off, but the telemetry animations continue.
“And as you can see, that’s when the ore surrounding it exploded due to the anomaly being pulled, which made it push into the rock, compressing the already unstable ore into small critical mass, Browf’s suit was micro-nuked, and he jettisoned from the Hot Rock. We’ve retrieved the anomaly and --”
“I’ve seen enough. No ore salvage means no pay. Thank you for your diligence.” The ship’s purser and the ship’s health and safety officers excuses themselves.
“. . .”
Forlorn, Browf and Dakota look at each other. Browf, worse for wear, takes a swig of the replicated anti-rad juice. “The ship’s auto-med says I should drink this for a week. I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know where our next mission deployment fee is coming from. Was it really this bad last time we were here?”
“Yeah, I suppose it was. But then again, we had our own ship that time…”
“How did we get into this mess, Browf?”
Head in hands, Browf mumbles “The Space Lobster Internal Revenue Department want too much to un-impound the Cosmosword. We couldn’t afford to pay the impound fee after we paid the wormhole loophole fee/fine.”
“And we don’t have the savings anywhere. A string of bad deals and bad luck.”
“And that’s when I thought of Duck and his Pond. We could find a friendly face in Charybdis, maybe take some easy jobs, earn enough to get the ship back.”
Dakota puts a hoof on Browf’s shoulder, opens her mouth to reassure him, but no words escape.
"It’s not been easy on us mooses, Hieronymoose, but at least we got some weird, science crap that’s keeping Dakota excited and out of my antlers. I don’t know anything about what negative mass or quark soup is, but I could sure go for some of Mom’s willow soup about now.
"As for working the mission queue, my suit doesn’t even qualify for the 50Ʉ incentive on the Annual Inspection, which would really help my debtors out.
"Even if you do me a kindness and you spot me 5Ʉ, I don’t qualify for anything except Mission 3, and they say the laser grid is still enabled?
“Things aren’t looking so hot. Well, maybe apart from myself on account of this radiation. And the laser grid.”
Yes, please, I’ll spot you10. Perhaps someone will be able to spot you a bit more for that roll of Duct Tape.
Myself, I’m feeling that the Mission 1 is the best option for me after I get some Lidar. Rest up.
@Kassandra SUBMIT
PAY 10 @Glutnix
BUY LIDAR
MISSION 1
END
