Oh hell. Any Heineken left?
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Well done to all, for driving back or crawling. I am seeing a need for a mule-hauled boss killing weapon. I like the idea of Big game. In the meantime Help yourselves to fried squid. âCalamari Brassersâ on the house, actually, out of the dirty boot of a car.
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Heineken was the first to disappear from Little Saigon. I managed to grab a few bottles of this before the looting got really bad:
Theyâre over a decade old by now, theyâve been sitting in the trunk of my car, and theyâre warm⌠but we can go down to the beach and you can have one if you want. I donât really like the taste, myself.
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~Clank says~
Could we just pass around the jug oâ 'shine we didnât use to distract the rednecks in Riverside?
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Drivers, gather 'round. We have a few items from last eveningâs Missions that we need to distribute. One in particular came from the Stark Skunkworks in this pile of crates over here. Upon unpacking, weâve found a mint-condition, never-used Enhanced Aural Restricted-Area Control Hyperwave Emitter, which, upon installation, will look just like this:
This package is too big and heavy for any Class but a Mule, and we figure it should go to the Mule who was on the Mission that discovered it, so if you want to install it, Junior, itâs yours. This can provide our morale-boosting marching cadences from the olâ 8-track, but when the knobâs twisted past 11, should provide a substantial destructive +15FP boost against structures and non-biological targets, and a smaller (but still helpful) +5FP face-melting attack against biological opponents. Only problem is that you have to remove some of your existing ARmor to get it all installed, to the tune of -15AR, so let us know if youâd prefer to go without it. (Maybe you can buy additional armor later on thatâll fit around it.) Itâs too cumbersome and heavy to carry with us if you donât install it, so itâs kind of a one-time offer: install it now, sell it to one of the other Mules who might covet it for whatever price theyâre willing to pay (maybe you can extend some credit to somebody you like), or we gotta leave it behind.
Bill the BUM and âMad Dogâ Jackson were two Mechanics who took damage from every threat in the tunnel and yet managed to survive. Between them they split these barrels of 117-octane Stark Luna-C experimental racing fuel. Both of you can top up your tanks, and this fuel promises to increase your top SPeed by +20SP and TorQue by +15TQ for the next two Rounds.
Our Scouts found something particularly mysterious. Itâs a SHITGO additive that must be orally consumed before a particular Mission. A single-use upgrade, youâd better choose wisely when to deploy it. It takes the form of a complex carbohydrate delivery system formed into the shapes of various occult symbols including pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, stuff like that. I donât know what the FDA would have had to say if these ever came to market or if the experiment was a complete bust, but the white paper claims to have achieved yields in the neighborhood of +50LK. Larsson, Baltar, Van Winkle⌠the three boxes are yours if you want them. Sell them, or keep them for a future mission. The boxes, as you can see, are quite portable.
Escorts, you found something particularly cromulent. Kind of a Stark trademark, these red and yellow hood ornaments provide a dual function. They provide an immediate repair of 10HP of damage, and they also permanently increase your MaxHP by 15. That should help you out in future encounters, once you get Mechanic help to get you up to that new Max. Channing, Sir Gonville, screw 'em on tight.
Clankenstein, you found an interesting package: a 1975 edition of the Motorâs Auto Repair Manual, Service Trade Edition for Domestic Vehicles. This allows you to possess the skill necessary to Repair all American makes and models up to 100%. Your Dodge being domestic, it also gives you the tech know-how to boost your SHITGOâs torque output by +10TQ, and your ENgineering by +15EN.
These upgrades are in addition to your 25LP payment for successful completion.
In a moment, Jane has a word for you Mission 2 vets, but for now, on to the Mission 3 veteransâŚ
(EDIT - added Rip Torn Van Winkle @jlw to Scouts bonus loot - 7:25 PM PST 2/03/14)
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The Marina turned out to be a source of interesting upgrades. An antique whaling vessel provided us with some nifty +10FP Harpoon Guns. They have the added benefit of reducing oneâs targetâs SP and MV by half, so theyâre quite useful in road combat. These will go to the Scout and Mules who came back from Mission 3. Raul⌠Bubba⌠Bertie⌠these are for you.
We have a couple of items available to Escorts. The Smokers came up with a primitive Squid Ink Launcher. Serves as a smokescreen to enable escape (equivalent to +15MV in road combat), and also has a +5FP offensive component, since it smells like the old socks Junior uses to plug the cracks in his Gen I SHITGO manifold. We also found these Squid Larva Oil Slickers. Fossil fuel being as rare as it is, the Smokers used ground-up squid larvae as fuel for their cookfires, waterproofing for their footwear, and also as a⌠well, personal lubricant. Makes a hell of an oil slick (-15MV to enemies), and also rustproofs (and roachproofs) your metalwork (+20EN). Somewhat flammable, however (-5AR). These two squidly upgrades use the same mounting brackets, however, so you can only choose one (1) of them to install. The cash-strapped Escort may choose to sell their squidly thing to any other class if they do not install, but if it doesnât sell, itâll take up 5 spaces in your Inventory. And if you install it, itâs permanent. Wizard⌠âGentlemanâ Jim⌠take your pick.
Finally, Bean, our surviving Mechanic. Iâve got here a collection of what appear to be oxygen tanks, and an old hunting rifle, with some kind of laser-assisted targeting scope that lights up brilliantly when aimed at, of all things, the regulator valves on the tanks. Canât imagine what that might be good for, but the entire six-tank package, labeled as the Smyle U-SOB Nautical Carcharodon Discouragement System, came with this [Userâs Manual here][1], which, as a Mechanic, Iâm sure you can read. +15FP, six uses only (must indicate how many tanks you want to utilize per a given Round). Like some of the above upgrades, you can sell it to whoever wants it if you desire, but if you put it in Inventory itâll take up 5 spaces, and if you install it, itâll be permanent. Replacement tanks may or may not become available down the road. The rifle by itself (if you choose not to utilize tanks in a given Round, or have run out) gives you +3FP.
These upgrades are in addition to your 25LP payment for successful completion. Not a bad haul, boys and girls!
[1]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_oFl_2p_LHU#t=29
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I have an update for the Mission 2 crew.
Iâve been down at Sunset Beach testing out the .50 cal machine guns we got from the Naval Weapons Station, and theyâre stronger than I thought they were - I figure theyâre good for about +5 FP each. Thatâs certainly good news to whoever we decide to give our extras to.
In addition, I only took one of the depleted uranium armor-piercing RPGs for myself and I wasnât planning on testing it, but when inspecting it I accidentally set it off.
It went straight through about ten beach houses, and then took out the support of the water tower house:
âŚwhich is now a pile of rubble.
Iâd rate these at about +25 FP each, though theyâre single-use⌠Iâm going to help myself to one of the extras since I lost mine, but we still have two more to give out in addition to the two each you get for yourselves.
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fires a round into the dirt in front of the dog
If that dog doesnât learn when to quit the next one hits his dome Deâath. We arenât okay.
Youâll give me an LP huh? It isnât like I gave you a free repair in exchange for some protection last round. How many hits did you take for me from that mangy piece of shit next to you? How about the screamers? You left me to die because you were scared of loud noises.
We arenât okay by a long shot.
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Channing Hunter, here. Did I screw this on right? It sure does look grumpy⌠And those eyes look like itâs following you. Somehow it popped out the dent in my front panel. Iâm not sure what to make of it.
Knife (@drman321), Major (@peregrinus_bis), Dorcas (@awjt) have an LP on me. This could have happened to any of us. Hope you folks are back on your feet soon.
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Squid Larva Oil Slickers
All day.
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Iâll go ahead and stick my two Charm boxes in the glovebox for later use. Iâm particularly excited about this TV Finger that I hear is inside, might be nice to help some of the fellows out that lost fingers to zombies in LAâŚ
Now that the money has come through Iâm willing to toss in a LP each to the fine Major (@peregrinus_bis) and Dorcas (@awjt). Knife (@drman321) deserves two from me for being by my side and taking a hit that just as easily could have come for me.
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Much appreciated buddy. I canât do much for wrenching anymore or I would repay the favor with a discount but you let me know if you find yourself in need of some protection. Iâm gonna get this 'Cuda ready to roll out for the next mission.
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@jlw Hey, Rip Torn⌠hey! Van Winkle! Wake up!!
Hey, man⌠sorry I forgot to mention you back there, but youâve been so quiet. Couldnât hear the snoring over âGentlemanâ Jimâs not-so-gentlemanly SHITGO processing on that Studebaker of his.
Anyway, weâve added your Results to the Mission 1b Results post, and also awarded you a box of Stark Charms. Use them wisely! See here for details.
And do please send your Mission choices in using the Form! We almost forgot you were coming!
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The least I can do. Especially since I understand you also recently picked up the virus that prevents you from reading like you used to.
You take care of yourself and get back up to speed. Ainât no thing.
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Hey Clankenstein (@davide405), I hear tell that youâre able to do some fixing up to 100% these days. Whatâre your going rates for those of us smart enough to put their trust in old-school Carroll Shelbyâs design aesthetics?
If youâre interested, I took more hits than anyone, and I bought extra screamer decoy, but you just sit there and sulk, fine by me. If you hadnât parked next to the opposition, youâd be fine. Okay, no LP for you. No skin off my nose, old chap.
Incidentally, while Iâm carrying this passenger around, any chance he can be fitted with a SHITGO for extra torque?
On the plus side, no Heineken.
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What an excellent idea. Perhaps a spare SHITGO throne (canine/child-sized) might be sourced from Stretchâs Scrapyard, next time we visit.
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~Clank drags a front tire through the dirt~
Well, shucks. I donât hardly know how to act.
Olâ Stretch had hisself a monopoly on that last 25% of HP, and heâs still got it for them as is drivenâ those furrinâ jobs. So this is what I wanna do.
Iâm gonna beat his rate by double. Stretch says heâll fix you up 2HP for 1LP. Iâll make that 4HP for 1LP, but Iâm gonna tell ya up front: half of what you pay me goes into a pool for them drivers who I canât repair to 100%.
So, if you needed 8HP to get from 75% back up to 100%, Iâd charge you 2LP for the job (Stretchâd charge you 4LP). Iâll keep one oâ those LP for my ownself, and toss the otherân in a kitty for them as drives furrinâ cars and has to go to Stretch to top off.
If it happens thereâs any LP left over in the kitty for furrinâ cars before we go on our next mission, Iâm gonna donate the leftovers to the mechanics union.
I hope that seems like a square deal to yâall. âcourse, ifân it donât, you can always deal direct with olâ Stretch.
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