Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round Four

Give me the safe, 24 hours, four men, a small boy, a medium sized horse, and whatever I can scrounge from Stretch’s junkyard and I will get it open.


What? No skeet shoot party for Channing? I was kind of looking forward to a good old fashioned test of skill.

If there are some extra nutters out in the waste I suppose I better hang back and protect the convoy in 2B. This Toecutter fella sounds like he has a horrible hobby. Hmm, hey Cougar, is this where our source of cannibal toes comes from? Yuck.

OOC: @penguinchris Would it be possible to update the spreadsheet? I’m pretty sure Fink’s values are slightly off (FP), and it’d be nice to see the updated HP totals.

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I believe it has been updated:

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Those of you with Jane’s (that’s me!) Super Secret Spy Club experience may be able to help with the ciphers and puzzles this round, although you don’t have to… anyone who does help with ciphers and puzzles this round will also gain admittance to Jane’s Super Secret Spy Club!


Well Cougar made it sound like we’d need a real show of force at the Citadel. In fact I think I heard the phrase a few mules or some such. I’m leaning in that direction, though I can’t say I look forward getting hitched to things that pull me more than I pull them.



I appreciate all the work you’re doing. But could we please get those .50 cal’s passed out, somehow, so that we can plan the missions?

My first choice is to follow thelead of Jack “knife” boyer @drman321 and pass the weapons to cars more effective for the missions. My second choice is Channing Hundters @gwwar suggestion to auction them off, and sprean the proceeds to others. I have bid 3 LP, Desmond Baltar @SteampunkBanana, The Major @peregrinus_bis, and Mike “nervous” @kingannoy have all bid 2 LP ( I think I missed someone).

As time is of the essence, I am also fine with taking Sir Gonville’s @daneel idea of just passing out the guns randomly .

But whatever you want to do, please do it soon so we have some certainty.

Thank you.

– Bubba Zanetti

p.s. It’s really a shame you didn’t get to meet Toecutter. His deeply knowledgeable and could have added much t your book.

Hey, listen, sure I’m holding on to the .50 cals for you, but as far as I’m concerned you all can decide what to do with them. And I’m not messing up my bodywork figuring out how to mount those things on my own car.

Personally, I’m for distributing them to those who need them for the upcoming mission. We’ve been digging through the parts we scavenged from Stretch and so far we haven’t found anything useful as an offensive weapon, but we’re trying to figure some stuff out to jerry-rig if necessary. For now, you should figure out who needs them for the mission with the assumption that nothing more will be available.

(keep in mind for planning purposes that we do know for sure that there is a significant amount of weaponry stored in The Citadel… most of it already attached to vehicles with Drivers, of course)

If you want to set this in stone with me ASAP, tell me what you’re interested in doing with the guns and I’ll make the arrangements.

Regarding Toecutter, I am of course quite familiar with his supposed exploits. I’ve surmised that that having a nice chat and sharing knowledge with me for a book that most of the population is unable to read is not high on his list of priorities, but I can’t help but feel disappointed that I won’t have the chance to ask, it’s true. Anything he may have privately discussed with you that may be useful to the rest of us, regarding upcoming plans or just general information about the wastelands ahead, well… that might be valuable information.

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Which mission are you running this time around, Jane?

Any chance there’ll be an equal amount of team members and salvage? Or that salvage will be directly assigned?

I’m asking for a friend.

Not quite so secret now you’ve told us all about it…

Nervous Mike - feeling a little cocky

I would love to see that citadel abandoned factory from the inside! In my motherland we have little to fear, there was never any big fauna to mutate, we have no mountains to instill a fear of heights, this has maybe made me overconfident. I’ll go for mission one.

Since we were talking about a show of force, I see there is a vital stat missing from the charts. Intimidation! Some cars make a bigger first impression then others, (@funruly) Junior springs to mind with the EARACHE but I don’t think I’m doing that bad myself with two mini guns on my hood and two .50 cals on the roof.

Especially in a situation like this at this crumbling factory building filled with big headed goons there is a definite need to impress. I can even install my rocket launcher in the middle of the roof for extra FP and visual intimidation if needed!

I’m still in the market for more upgrades by the way, I’ll gladly up my standing offer of 2 LP for a extra gun to 4 LP.



It seems like only four, possibly five people have even mentioned they want guns. As it’s been several days since we first floated the idea and nobody else has spoken up, let’s just distribute them to those five at, say, 5LP each and then give the cash out to the others on mission 2.

SECOND TO LAST CALL FOR GUNS. Speak up or get cash rewards!

Hmm, I think some people are probably sleeping at the moment.

Anyway, I can’t read, but I’ll still help you with the math. Channing knows how to count! A girl can’t survive in the wastes otherwise. Wily characters will jack you on the take.

If you want to do it this way, there were 13 people on mission 2. 5 people can get guns. LP will be distributed to 8 people. We should choose a number divisible by 8. The smallest number happens to be 8LP. So, anyone who doesn’t get a gun is rewarded with 5LP.

Jane (@penguinchris) , could you let lady luck decide who gets the guns? Anyone who gets a gun, will have 8LP taken away and redistributed to the group (sans gun winners). If someone still wants a gun they should just have a chat with whomever won it.

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That was a viable argument a day and a half ago when Bubba first brought up the idea. 36 hours later we’re no closer to an endgame and only five people have even mentioned being interested in the guns.

The train has to leave the station sometime.

OOC: We’ve been discussing this in the meta thread, so hopefully this shouldn’t happen again in another round. I just wanted to point out that we don’t have fractions of LP. 25/8=3.125

I’ve been reading that as well, but this project seems to be spinning its tires in the sand and we need to get things moving by the end of day tomorrow if previous mission deadlines are similar…

[quote=“penguinchris, post:3, topic:21615”] We found:
15 .50 Cal Machine Guns @ 2 FP each (I think these were from old Jeeps)
8 Depleted Uranium Armor-Piercing RPGs @15 FP each (single-use)
2 Decommissioned M-29 “Davy Crockett” Tactical Nuclear Recoilless Guns, but although I did find some rounds for them, I didn’t find the nuclear warheads. I guess I’ll hold on to these in case we find some warheads later. [/quote]

Ok folks. I think we may have more leeway than we thought. Back when you folks were running around all scared of some squid (round2) some of us were securing some serious firepower.

Five of us divvied up 10 of the .50 cals and 6 of the RPGs, which leaves another five .50 cals at 5FP each and two armor-piercing RPGs (determined to be +25FP when someone accidentally fired one).

We were left with the instructions to find new owners for them. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Someone is welcome to use my auction block for other items, I have to say I’m unclear on what else is available and from where so please come on over and let’s figure this out.


Honey here :wink:

I think I heard my name dropped but I was just lighting up a ciggie and must’ve been distracted. I seem to remember a Cypher run being mentioned? Did I get that right? Hey Jane ( @penguinchris ) is Jane’s Heroes/Super Secret Spy Club on mission 3?


Because I already run the Super Secret Spy Club I’ll be helping coordinate mission 3 but it isn’t really a Heroes mission (cc: @daneel).

However, if all those who choose it wish for the usual equal automatic distribution of salvage and so on, I’d be happy to make that happen.

@Solomon, thank you for taking care of figuring out the weapon distribution. I was going to help with this to clear up the confusion but your information all seems to be correct.

Regarding the single-use depleted-uranium armor-piercing RPGs, you should ask Cougar @Donald_Petersen if she thinks you’ll need these in The Citadel (for intimidation if nothing else).

Some Drivers also do have special weapons, like squid ink launchers, explodable oxygen canisters, and similar from previous missions that I don’t think anybody has used.

From what I’ve gathered, we need to put on a real entertaining show in The Citadel if we want to survive. Fleetwood’s thumb apparently has a lot of power.


Entertaining’s what you’re good at, Junior. You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.