Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round Three Results!

Bloody thing reminds me of someone … don’t really recall … never mind eh? Do we shoot it?





Look out!


~Clank: mood = benevolent~

Y’all take note of the fate that comes to them as opposes the First Church of UAW, local 1.

I aim to keep Stretch’s head, and power ‘im back up every time I’m gettin’ too full o’ myself, he’s a good example of ever’thin’ us Tool Wielders don’t want to be.

It’s a sight better to repair than to be repaired.
It’s a sight better to donate freely to them as does repairs than it is to just pay 'em.
It’s a sight better to trust them in your rearview mirror than it is to have charged 'em through the air intake for the wrench work ya did for 'em last.

Let the repairs be without charge, and the donations to the UAW flow like 5W-30 motor oil.

Us automancers mechanics’ll sift through the debris and see if’n we can find the pieces that he-who-won’t-never-be-named-again used to sell as Repair Kits. We’ll also put our ENgineering smarts together and see if we can’t come up with some way to use all the debris and rubble and such-like from the various missions as upgrades to our rides.

But first, we’re gonna help with cleanin’ them .50 cal.s, ‘cause I’d sure like to see them adornin’ the rides of the Escorts and Scouts that’s gonna keep me alive next mission.


With you there, brother.

Unparalleled is the reliable wrenchworker with the shiny stuff everyone needs.

Stand tall, and keep us rolling, and know that we’ll be with you every revolution of the wheel.


I think we should try to capture it, and then drip hot oil onto it until it talks. We need INFORMATION.

Stretch isn’t looking so hot there. By the by, since Stretch is all head and no hands, I suppose there isn’t a mechanic around any more to fix foreign vehicles back up to 100%. Do you think he left any useful manuals lying around?


That’s a plan. Generally, these things will have at the very least an identification plate from the manufacturing unit. Unless they’re from a self-replicating source, in which case we would need to get in close and personal.

Either way, we can’t get into the wiring without some sophisticated equipment.

We were looking into them at Whitewater before the proverbial hit the fan. Not on the scale of that beast, but we had our fingers on the pulse, and particularly the military areas of development, goes without saying.

Finkelstein something or other, or the other way round, was working on this about 10 years ago - big US military contract. Wouldn’t talk to us.

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I’m also rather interested to know what was found!

At a stretch (haha) I can do a fair bit myself; training and all; but experienced hands make better dinners, or something along those lines.


We ain’t found one yet, but if’n we do, it’ll be added to the collection of Holy books and used for the betterment of all.


Ayup, Reverend Clank, Ayup!

Passes the HolyWhole Hubcap around…

Lets all take a moment of silence to reflect on the gifts of the ancient engineer’s… All PraysPraise to the Ancient Engineers! Ayup!

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~Clank drops 20 plates in the hubcap and passes it along.~


Stretch served the Great Rust and got what lies at the end of that path for all. Nothing but crumbling, rotting, desolation. The servants of the Tool Giver arose victorious as they always shall so long as they remain true to his word.

The Knights Mechanical serve the Tool Giver by providing aid and support to the Tool Wielders.

Our FP shall smite the enemies of the Tool Wielders
Our AR shall shield the Tool Wielders in times of danger
Our SP shall rush us to the Tool Wielders side in time of need
Our TQ shall haul both supplies and loot for the Tool Wielders
Our MV shall guide the enemies of the Tool Wielders into walls and landmines
Our EN shall provide the Tool Wielders assistance in any hacks and repairs
Our LK shall all us to serve the Tool Wielders by the grace of the Tool Giver

Make something more of yourself you ragtag group of drunks, murderers, and psychopaths.
Dedicate yourselves to serving the Tool Wielders! Dedicate yourself to following the Tool Giver and standing against the Great Rust.

holds up bottle of 5W-50

Come be anointed and born anew in the life giving blood of the Tool Giver!


Yeah, I’m not much for golden showers. But I do use this under me arms so I hope that’s good enuff.


Burton you are counted among the allies of the Tool Wielders.

tosses 5LP in the hubcap and passes it to Burton

Should you decide to contribute to the Tool Givers ministry…


Yeah I’ll match yer 5, soon as the accounting has been accounted for.

5 days ago, Tijuana, MexiCorp…

I can see clearly in pitch black darkness

A million meetings of strangers at midnight

I heard their confessions and admitted my guilt

So I traveled to Tijuana and I drank Tequila

Soon everything was forgotten and faded into fog

Midnight found me back up to my old Modus operandi

All over again my affliction had effected my reality

My transmission shifted overdrive as the old Ford jerked forward

The RPMs ran into the red and the radiator started steaming

On and on I drove until the sun came up at the border

The TCB start’s to crackle…

…in the rear view mirror the Cartel was in hot pursuit…


Momo’s seen it all… twice. Her memory just needs a little WD-40 on occasion. She probably knows what this lucky leather thing is… hmm could they be driving gloves? I’m sure she’ll figure out what this is after a hot toddy and a nap.