Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - One Fish, Two Fish

games
1

Dakota Hoofington fidgets with her com. Why the hell haven’t new missions posted?

Dakota is an ambitious calf, she’s out here in Charybdis to make a name and a living for herself but since signing on with Unizone it feels like she’s spent all her time in a backwater dive watching space lobsters die from soup poisoning.

“Duck, run a diagnostic on your com relay, reception sucks in here.”

Duck laughs and passes Dakota a basket of overcooked bluefish sticks.

“Kid, have a happy Bluefish Day. Don’t bet on the slug races.”

Ding! - Dakota’s com finally updates.

UNIZONE CORPORATION
"Connecting The Universe, one shipment at a time."

Valued Unizone Partner,

We would like to remind you that new missions will be postponed until tomorrow. Today we celebrate Bluefish Day in accordance with the intergalactic remembrance of Dr. Theophrastus Moose, noted illustrator and author. 

The importance of literacy can not be understated and we hope you will spend to day reading, writing and reflecting on the universal truth.

Reguards,
Unizone Headquarters

Dakota is not happy. She resolves to celebrate this day of literacy by betting on the slug races and drinking heavily.

If you would like to bet on the slug races, please select a slug, a b2.0 fee for each bet will be automatically charged to your Unizone account regardless of your current balance. You may place up to b10.0 worth of bets and the bets may be placed on multiple slugs or a single slug.

+--------- Bluefish Day Slug Races ----------+
+--------------------------------------------+
+--- SLUG -------------+-- ODDS --+-- PAYS --+
+  Cigarello           +  1-2     +  b3.0    +
+  Go Slug Go!         +  9-5     +  b5.6    +
+  Dad's Boot          +  7-1     +  b16.0   +
+  Slim Slam           +  8-1     +  b18.0   +
+  Slug that Bird      +  2-5     +  b2.8    +
+  Lumpy Lulu          +  1-5     +  b2.4    +
+  Hot Harry           +  3-1     +  b8.0    +
+  FL337 Feet          +  6-1     +  b14.0   +
+  Lord BlurgleBlorg   +  20-1    +  b20.0   +
+--------------------------------------------+

Example bet:

  • b4.0 - Go Slug Go!
  • b2.0 - Lord BlurgleBlorg
  • b4.0 - FL337 Feet

SYSTEM NOTE

It has been brought to my attention that the Round 1 thread locked early. This slug race is a stall/extension. If you haven’t submitted your Round 1 mission selection, you have a short window. Let’s say 6pm AKST (7pm PST). Just drop them in this thread along with the slug bets.

Slug Races will resolve later in the week. 3/5/15 @ 10am AKST.

@codinghorror Please lock this thread at 10am AKST (11am PST) Thursday, March 5th. Also, I’m not sure if there’s a hitch in the auto-thread-lockenator but it appears to have locked early last time.

SYSTEM NOTE

5 Likes
2

Gambling’s a mug’s game. The moose always wins.

House credit?

Edit : simpler question. Why doesn’t Lord BlurgleBorg pay out 42?

3 Likes
3

I didn’t choose the slug life, but I do love me some S-Cargo.

  • b2.0 - Dad’s Boot
  • b2.0 - Slim Slam
  • b2.0 - FL337 Feet
7 Likes
4

As captain of the USSS Rustbucket, I bet a three month collection of my own belly-button lint on S-Car (yes, Space Slobsters have belly buttons, and they produce prodigious amounts of lint, which can, in fact, be quite valuable in some far-flung parts of the galaxy, where it is used for such things as filling radiation shielding bolsters, moon-bat ion radicalization, intestinal genuflection creams, and termination of run-on parenthetical expressions).

4 Likes
5

I should do some name dropping so people find this thread…

@Donald_Petersen, @funruly, @daneel, @SteampunkBanana, @jlw, @gwwar, @bizmail_public, @davide405, @penguinchris, @shiftynick

2 Likes
6

Summoning…

@DreamboatSkanky, @wisconsinplatt, @maxd, @rkt88edmo, @monkeyoh, @hoarybat, @uphill, @caffo, @Ratel, @Old

2 Likes
7

The slugs, the slugs are calling, through the @glennf and down the mountainside.

@zaphodbblx, @Glutnix, @newliminted, @deisum, @PromptedInk, @Agfish, @messana, @cbingel, @awjt

2 Likes
8

Those space slugs are looking pretty quick this year, I think it’ll be one for the record books!

@miasm, @Kaotiq, @greenglyph, @OtherMichael, @micaela, @Felipe_Budinich, @Demiurgus, @BradfordBenn, @Slaal, @inqydesu

1 Like
9

Beard says we’re already too deep in the hole and the calculations aren’t worth the risk right now.

He does think Hot Harry is undervalued given his reputation as a mudder though.

7 Likes
10

@codinghorror Is it possible to up the number of names I’m allowed to reference in each post? 40 would be great!

2 Likes
11 
+ GAMBLING DETECT +

“what odds, BAMBI?”

+ RECEIVE ODDS +

“show in decimal, and sort by probability, descend?”

+--------- Bluefish Day Slug Races ----------+
+--------------------------------------------+
+--- SLUG -------------+-- PROB --+-- PAYS --+
+  Lumpy Lulu          +  .833    +  b2.4    +
+  Slug that Bird      +  .714    +  b2.8    +
+  Go Slug Go!         +  .357    +  b5.6    +
+  Cigarello           +  .333    +  b3.0    +
+  Hot Harry           +  .250    +  b8.0    +
+  FL337 Feet          +  .142    +  b14.0   +
+  Dads Boot           +  .125    +  b16.0   +
+  Slim Slam           +  .111    +  b18.0   +
+  Lord BlurgleBlorg   +  .047    +  b20.0   +
+--------------------------------------------+

“is that correct? what math?”

+ EXAMPLE: 9-5 +
+ NUMERATOR: 9 +
+ DENOMINATOR: 5 +
+ PROBABILITY IS EQUAL TO +
+ 
+          DENOMINATOR
+    -----------------------
+    NUMERATOR + DENOMINATOR
+
+ SO 9-5 = 5/(9+5) = 5/14 = 0.3571...

“you sure, BAMBI (@patrace)? me not so sure…”

3 Likes
12

Quirky glowers at the Omni-Pay ™. He used to have a slug. That slug was gonna be a racer. That slug was gonna win him a fortune. One day Quirky got home from Ssspace Camp, and the Clutch-Mother told him that while he was gone, his racer had broken a racing bone, had to be put down.

Racing bone! How stupid did they think he was?? At least sssupper that night was good, whatever it was.

Quirky jams his claws into the pockets of his crew suit, thick with the fuzz of what used to be dice, from back when the Somewhat Broken Heart even had dice.

Quirky: SSSSSSSSS! Thhhhhh!

5 Likes
13

Just think of 2.912 as 1. It’s going to be ok.

1 Like
14

Why? Shouldn’t those 40 people be watching this topic?

15

This topic was just made. We’re definitely watching them once we know they exist.

3 Likes
16

“literacy, eh, BAMBI?”

+ YES BROWF. LOL. +

“who this Dakota Hoofington? She sound like fun. And put 5 bits down on Lumpy Lulu in the sluggies.”

+ RECEIVE BET CONFIRM +
  • b5 - Lumpy Lulu
1 Like
17
  • b5 Cigarello
  • b3 Lord Blurgleborg

Neither one of them can dance for s#!t, but they’ll do.

2 Likes
18

I don’t think they would know to watch the topic if I didn’t call out the names or if they didn’t actively search out the thread. Unless there’s some keyword watch feature I don’t know about.

I suppose I could ask people to watch topics in the “games” category. That might be an easy way to deal with it but I do feel like the direct callouts are more likely to get attention.

It’s no big deal, I’ll just break up my posts. Working within the restrictions of the BBS is part of the fun and challenge.

8 Likes
19

Is there a button to press to be notified of any new topic started by @patrace?

2 Likes
20

Ah the slug races. Like anyone who’s been around the traps for long enough, I’ve heard the rumors about salting. Nasty business but it does keep things interesting. Of course the trainers all deny it, but let’s face it, we’ve all seen too many promising molluscs mysteriously pull up frothing when the form has had them romping home.

I’ll try my claw at outwitting the bookies. You never know, today might be my lucky day.

  • b5.0 - Slug that Bird
5 Likes