Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - Registration

Ah, I sssussspect you refer to my late lamented nest-brother Ssssskipper, he of the regrettably derelict I.M.V. Flatulent Deity. I owe a lot to my ssslightly elder sssibling. 'Twas he who ssstarted me out on my new bionic life immediately after I was hatched, when he ssseized my helpless body, still warm and damp from the egg, and proceeded to devour my forelegsss before a third sssibling, ssstill sssomnolent in her egg, dropped from Ma’s ovipositor directly onto his head, ssstunning him long enough for me to make my essscape and apply for my firssst credit account at the cybernetic prosssthetic shop down the tunnel. It’s hard enough for a newborn to make a ressspectable sssignature in triplicate even when he possessessss a complete ssset of digitsss.

I tell you, it helped me grow up fassst.


Great minds, etc.


Ours too!



“Have Fun. Make Money. Stay Alive”

[ stepping out of character:]

That’s it. that is all you need to know about the prior round.
Anything you need to know to play this game will be posted, clearly, by patrace.

The real point is the collaboratve story telling. Make stuff up. It can be about your character / ship / cloaca / whatever the hell you feel like writing about. Post it and see where it goes. When one of these narratives takes hold, the game will bend to support the narrative. Continuity be damned. Since this game’s narrative frame won’t be presented until Monday, when patrace posts the first “mission”, we’re just goofing around for now.

Join us!


I think it looks great from my point of view!

                           Unizone Corporation

                        General Services Contract

* Vessel Information *

1.) Name of vessel: 

Stellar Manifold Mollusk Mark I

2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:


3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:

This one time in space
is much like any other
if you fold it right

*Captain Information*

4.) Full Name:  

Dexter Stokastikos

5.) Identity Class: 

51% Human, 21% Robot, 28% Spruce (you should see my family reunions)

6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum: 


*Signing Bonus*

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?

Ƀ.030. I may be fast, but I’m not in a hurry.

8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?

Ƀ.010 is deemed optimal by heuristic cluster, but let’s go with Ƀ.015 just for good measure. Yes, that sounds good.

By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.

These terms are…acceptable.

Ship schematics and pilot license forthcoming, as soon as this platform authorizes transmission. In the meantime, please reference the following provisional visual ID:

(this post has been modified to conform with the mathematical norms of this narrative realm, provide alternate means of narrative support, and to explain modifications referenced earlier in this latest addendum)


Looksss… complicated! Are those shed flagella in the background? Neuro-positronic wiring componentsss? Or sssimply a nourishing bowl of polymer passsta?

One of the positive sssidesss to my ongoing bionic transssformation has been my dissscovery of the joys of ingesssting complex hydrocarbons along with my carbohydratesss. You organic-tongued lifeforms sssimply don’t know what you’re missssing.


How many did we lose in missions 1 and 2?

habensie luft-luft-racketen?

Yes, some of us Captains have been around a while, we’ve seen a lot, and yes, some of us did participate in earlier chapters of Charybdis. But we also tell a lot of stories. Even those of us who claim to have “been there” don’t agree on much. Feel free to read the archives if you want, but all you need to know is:

Enjoy Today. Make Money. Stay Alive.

A little bit more background:

  1. Bars. Captains frequently gather at popular watering holes, a vital source of Charybdian culture and intellectual advancement. For example, the observation “drunk androids are always the life of the party” led directly to the formulation of the annihilatory Turing test. The TARD-iss was a popular destination: the best view and worst drinks in the galaxy. The Inflatable Pub may be a similar venue this time around. There are many such drinking venues, some more public than others. Start your own!

  2. Sssspace LIzardsssss. The Herpeton system has produced a dynamic culture of cold-blooded space-faring reptiloids that have had an impact on Charybdis greatly exceeding their numbers. Despite all claiming to have impoverished upbringings on remote worlds, they often have fancy ships, wield exceptional narrative power, possess an uncanny knowledge of 70s and 80’s camp culture, and spend a distressing amount of wide-frequency bandwidth discussing their cloacas.

  3. Booze. Captains exchange booze as favors. This is not done through Unizone corp or its minion patrace. Rather, just announce it in post. Bonus points for the more exotic and rare liquors. Charybdis is rich in these.

  4. About me, David Falkayn. My actions can be traced to my moral imperative: self-interested co-operation is the basis for all success. I enable sentient beings to co-operate to enhance their own situation; the more prosperous sentient beings there are in the universe, the greater and more varied my profit opportunities. I have spent countless hours and unseemly amounts of money nurturing these cooperation projects. It’s been very profitable. Translating my moral imperative into the complexities of each situation can get erudite, so I frequently use the slogan

Enjoy Today. Make Money. Stay Alive

…and if you’ve read this far, let me know. I’d like to drop by and share a bottle of Cerulean Östelwein with you. It’s sublime. and blue.


“Browf thank Captain Falkayn for advice, friendship”


“homeworld sky missed. booze help forget. color help remind. glorious.”

~ Captain Browf Clamphoof of the Cosmosword ~


Fickt nicht mit dem Raketemensch!

Just the one, I think.

PingPing Pandan on the Hobar.

Hobar! Hobar! Mighty Hobar! PingPing Pandan’s ship
Was first among us brave enough to take The Final Trip.
With cargo hold stuffed ceiling-high with ordnance to sell,
Her attitudinal dampeners failed, and blew her ass to Hell.


Well, ‘Mark I’ is a somewhat…optimistic designation. The Mollusk’s practically a prototype-- we’re capable of fantastic speed, but we go through microplasma conduits pretty quickly. Interface hardware is also occasionally prone to ‘rapid unscheduled disassembly’, which is embarrassing and inconvenient in this day and age, but I am assured this is the optimal configuration for fast running. Fortunately, cybernetic interfaces often take over as necessary. What you see there are parts replaced in an average maintenance cycle. Now that you mention it, they do bear an odd resemblance to our propulsion/utility tentacles.

If you think you might find them nutritionally interesting, look me up sometime.The Uhrwerkmannschaft is my local.

(p.s. I mean the used parts, of course, not the tentacles)



This place might be up your alley. Watch out for the janitor.


If you’d like a little entertainment with your drinks this evening, then come on over to the S.O.L. Jr. for my one-woman show, Gypsy Rose Me! The crew really seems to enjoy it.

Here’s a little preview of the show (from 1:09:29 to 1:12:15):

<size=1>Docking fees and drink minimums apply. Void where prohibited.


Looks like we’re going to have one helluva Saturday night!

1 Like

Oh my stars, yes!

Hmmph bloody hell whassat?!


Dr. Esstimpress?

1 Like