Door Game - Badass Space Dragon

Hey. Let’s try something. This is a BBS, it should have a game, right?

Well, I’m hosting a game of Badass Space Dragon. It’s like a BBS Door Game except it’s manually driven and will evolve through a series of BBS posts.

In this world, we’re all privateers and we own tricked out spaceships, think Serenity or The Millenium Falcon. The goal is to buy cargo, deliver it, and not get caught or killed.

Maybe you’re in it for the excitement, maybe you just want those fat stacks like Heisenberg. Either way, good luck staying alive and out of trouble!

The game begins Monday (9/23) and runs for two weeks updating on weekdays. If you miss an update, you missed your shipment. Bummer maaan, that cost you and probably pissed off all the wrong people.

Estimated time commitment is no more than 5-15 minutes per day.

Round 1 - Shipping Out (Due 9/23)

  1. What’s the name of your ship?

  2. Choose one of the following attributes to describe your ship - Sneaky, Fast, Powerful, Durable, Lucky

  3. What’s the name of the captain on this hunk of junk?

  4. Is the captain human, android, or space lizard?

  5. You have $1000 Starbucks to your name, how much do you want to spend bribing me for a starting advantage? Remember, you might want to save some to buy that first load of cargo.

Can’t tell you much more than that. Prepare to launch.

__________             .___                      
\______   \_____     __| _/____    ______ ______ 
 |    |  _/\__  \   / __ |\__  \  /  ___//  ___/ 
 |    |   \ / __ \_/ /_/ | / __ \_\___ \ \___ \  
 |______  /(____  /\____ |(____  /____  >____  > 
        \/      \/      \/     \/     \/     \/  
 /   _____/__________    ____  ____              
 \_____  \\____ \__  \ _/ ___\/ __ \             
 /        \  |_> > __ \\  \__\  ___/             
/_______  /   __(____  /\___  >___  >            
        \/|__|       \/     \/    \/             
\______ \____________     ____   ____   ____     
 |    |  \_  __ \__  \   / ___\ /  _ \ /    \    
 |    `   \  | \// __ \_/ /_/  >  <_> )   |  \   
/_______  /__|  (____  /\___  / \____/|___|  /   
        \/           \//_____/             \/ 


  1. Ship: Badass Space Dragon
  2. Attribute: Fast
  3. Captain: William Tango - A.K.A. Tang
  4. Captain type: Human
  5. Bribe: $100. And it better be worth it.

Ship: dubdub
Attribute: Lucky
Captain: Glenn McJlarty - aka McJ
Captain type: Human
Bribe: I don’t need your charity!

1 Like

(Ship) Dracarys
(Attribute) Powerful
(Captain) The captain is a human male named Rhaegar. He is shrouded in mystery and what little is known about him is mostly half-truths and legends.
(Kick-back) 150 Starbucks in a plain brown envelope, along with an antique-looking bejeweled bronze key with ornate carvings. You can’t tell what kind of lock the key opens, but you can tell it is very old.

1 Like

Ship: أبو الهول (properly pronounced Abū al Hūl, but commonly referred to as the Hobar)
Attribute: Powerful
Stop-Captain: PingPing Pandan (nihon-terran normal)
Go-Captain: Freddie Dacker (caucasoid human mutant)
Charitable contribution to the Widows and Orphans of Space Martyrs fund: $700

1 Like

Ship: Das Boot
Attribute: Sneaky
Captain: Lenar Belox
Captain Type: Android
Bribe: $1, Bob!

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  1. Ship: Insane1
  2. Attribute: Sneaky
  3. Captain: Krazy D Clown
  4. Captain type:Human(clown)
  5. Bribe: $10 gimme some Krazy Glue!!
1 Like

Ship: The Iron Giant
Attribute: Powerful
Captain: Hogarth
Captain type: Human
Bribe: 1 Starbucks Dark Roast (and 143 Starbucks, I guess)

1 Like

Ship: Slidewinder
Attribute: Lucky
Captain: Herpe’derp III of the Komodar Empire
Captain type: space lizard (We prefer “Astrozard Americans”)
Bribe: $50 and a vial of crocodile tears.

1 Like

Ship: Aquasar
Attribute: Rational (Durable)
Captain: Ginni
Captain type: Watsonian
Bribe: 4 Starbucks, keep the change but I’m carrying an assault rifle

1 Like

One time, in a dive on the outer rim of that tumbledown dump of statite six, a Yggsdril described the Senescent Wanderer as 'lucky.’ I don’t know what the bastard though it was doing - maybe it thought it was being generous, given the all the multitudinous scars the ship (and its crew) wear. I don’t know - we were all a bit out of it, and Yggs are hard to read at the best of times. But it was talking about ‘luck’ - as if we were lucky to have lived through the last House war - lucky to have lived through the hell that glassed Taygate and left cueball circling that desert planet.

El-Esk disabused sir Ygg of that notion - flip-rolled over the table and severed one of its taproots. The captain has always had a temper - a consequence, I figure, of the great betrayal of shipwise Sam. Sam Davis - her old partner, who tried to turn her into the the same kind of network-abomination as his good self - tried to tie her body back down into the heart and the guts of a ship. A sick mirror to his own perversion.

He was only partly successful. Some of her lurks in the soul of the Senescent Wanderer, and some of her stalks the docks, cutting appendages from errant Yggs. Its hard to tell where the captain stops, and the ship starts. Sometimes I think she is the ship.

And you’d never describe El-Esk as ‘lucky.’

Not if you value your fingers.


Ship: Beyond Infinity
Ship Class: Sneaky Scutter
Captain : Captain Donald “Evil” Faltermeyer
Race: Cyborg Space Lizard (but more Lizard than Android)
Bribe: Bribe?!? You will get none of my hard-earned Starbucks!

1 Like

1 - Ship: The Slightly More Than Ordinary
2 - Attribute: Lucky
3 - Captain: Capt. Hot, Earl Grey
4 - Captain Type: Space Lizard
5 - Bribe: $250, with an extra $250 if we make it back alive from our first run.

1 Like

1 - Ship: Mistaker II
2 - Attribute: Trouble Finder
3 - Captain: Increase Waistline
4 - Captain Type: Mistaker
5 - Bribe: “If I am not mistaken ™ it’s your turn.”

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  1. Ship - Taurean Mule
  2. Attribute - Plucky and incredibly convenient (lucky, mostly durable)
  3. Captain - Bonso Juneau
  4. Android
  5. What bribe? I just hapened to leave the Ben Franklin (100) sticking out of my papers.
1 Like

Ship: Muddlin’ Through
Attribute: Sneaky, but consensual
Captain: David Falkayn
Captain Type: Human
Bribery? Such an awkward term. Tell me more about your interesting society. In the meantime, I have some very heavy metals you might find interesting.

1 Like

Ship: I.M.V. Flatulent Deity
Attribute: Lucky as hell
Captain: Ssssskipper
Captain Type: Ssssspace Lizard
Bribe: Not a red cccccent. If I dealt in bribesss, I’d be a Sssssenator or a sssmuggler… or at any rate more sssssuccccessssssssful than I ssseem to be. Oh. Ssssssorry about the messsss. {Hands over a clean, soft, dry hand towel with a crisp Centurybuck folded within}

1 Like

What’s the name of your ship? Pusillanimous Patty

Choose one of the following attributes to describe your ship - Sneaky

What’s the name of the captain on this hunk of junk? Richard M.Nixon

Is the captain human, android, or space lizard? Space Lizard

Bribe: Bribes? No chance. You can bribe me, if you like.

1 Like
  1. Burnt Asbestos
  2. Durable
  3. Q’a’strastro
  4. Proudly Human.
  5. $701. This is reverse-price is right rules, right?

Edit: Trying to add ascii-spaceships in Discourse has frozen several of my Chrome tabs now… Ok, no more art.

1 Like
  1. First Post1
  2. (Beginners)Luck(y)
  3. Newb Naiv
  4. Human
  5. Is there a $100 starting fee? I heard something about that, do I pay you now?
1 Like