Within 3 inches of total destruction. That’s luck, I tell ya. Mondo was not kidding around by sending that kiss of death in a bottle.
The pot still my crew made was totally mangled in the battle. Oh well, back to square 1 with that plan. And we are all down to our last few bits of re-distilled vodka. Re-distilled? Well, we take the blue stuff from our toilets and send it through reverse osmosis to extract the alcohols that everyone on board pisses out, and then we add an essence of potato spritz to it, to freshen up the smell, and THAT’S what we have been serving. Not pretty, since it has a slight twinge of blueness to it, but it’s all we can manage. And dog BBQ. All the sauce we bought was shot up, so it’s dry dog bbq and recycled piss vodka until we can manage to make a surplus of cash.
So much for working for the Coalition. You’ll get government wages and LIKE it.
As many hull repairs as money can buy, and mission #1.
Yeah, it’s been fun. I NEVER play MMORPGs or first person shooters or any of that crap. Why? Because there’s not a lot of creativity in it. Sure, there’s some, but not much. With this, we each have freedom to tell stories, shoop up goofy graphics and think about how it all goes; plus, it’s low-tech and communal and simply put, a buncha freakin’ mutants in mutantdom having fun the best way we know how: with our minds. Thanks patrace, for putting it together.
Yep. Me too. Having tremendous fun. Many, many thanks to @patrace and all you wonderfully imaginative people who are making this as awesome as it is. I’ll be bereft when it’s over, although it will probably be a good thing for my employers.
Sure- “Sam”, we can discuss El. But a few ground rules.
First, don’t assume that using a crypto PKEY means what you say to me stays with me. The I.P.U.C. has moles, listening stations, and entire star clusters devoted to code-breaking. El Esk inhabits the very skin of the Senescent Wanderer. Also, I’m a trader.
Second, while I appreciate good information as much as the next commercial jobber, I am not interested in joining Senescent Wanderer’s internal politics. I live in close quarters with a Buddhist herbivore and an ambush predator, which is more than enough “crew dynamics” for this captain.
El Esk is the captain of your ship. You decide if she is Ahab or Hornblower . El will think what El will think, El will do what El will do. She makes her choices, she accepts the consequences. That’s all any of us can do.
In the meantime, what are your ideas for saving Pete?
Pete’s fate is in the hands of (checkssss) Captain Underpantsss? Marvellousss…
We are concerned that our putative resssissstancssse is going to be wiped out by a disssasssterousss crysssstal quessst that we are almosssst all attempting.
I have had Grr’Alld and Kss’Nger running complexsss sssimulationsss of the misssssion for daysss. I am conssscerned by their performancssse.
Alssso, doesss anyone have any quarter-Starbucksss?
Everyone’s favorite booze cruzer, the TARD-iss, is taking Coalition money to pay Pete’s Scrapyard a visit. Smuggling Pete amongst the scruffy reprobates who inhabit the Space Bar should be pretty straightforward.
Note to Captain Underpants of the TARD-iss: could you use one of your barflies let us know what the Coalition folks are like? Any tidbit helps: are “outside contractors” involved? Is the mission commander a “logistic” guy who focuses on bombing the crap out of places, or a “politics” guy who is obsessed with killing “bad guys”? drink preferences? any tidbit that might help get Pete out of this alive.
Below are eight ships we know the Coalition is willing to pay to attack Pete. We are tracking what missions they choose.
uncommitted
Dracarys
Das Boot
Zhe Shadow Pacifist
Ironclad Cochrane*
Mission 2 or 3 : Let Pete Be
Grey Mouser
Iron Giant
Quisquiliae sStruem*
** MIsssion 1: Fuck Over Pete. ** TARD-iss
Note that the $1,000 starbucks with Endogenic Escrow is uncancelable, so the reward for spiriting Pete to safety remains, whatever mission one chooses.
That was the funniest damn post I’ve seen all morning. It had me in fits. Thanks.
About the Missions:
If your ships has at least 50 LK and more than 100 HP, there is a greater than 96% probability your ship will survive Mission 1: Crystal. Thus, the strategy for this mission is buy lots of LK (moonshine), get the HP over 100 ( repairs and hull density improvements), and put what’s left into SH (Armor).
If you are shopping at Ellas’, be frugal.
** DO NOT SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY TODAY**.
Her prices are inflated, so competitors are itching to undercut her – including Pete, if we can keep him alive and bring him to his senses. Do the repairs that you must, but simple economics dictates that you’ll get more bang for your buck soon.
This looks harder than I thought. I guess we will have to use Ella. Or let Ella use us.
Her hull repairs is where she gets us. The upgrades were not inflated all that much. There is no way they will reach these Pete levels again. He practically gave them away. No one could sell at that price and make a profit. Where this really hurts us is that we don’t feel bold enough for Mission 3, so that cuts our earning potential in half. Good thing my kids don’t have to eat.
A good bartender can’t divulge his patron’s secrets; you know the DIPAA laws. But I have NO prohibitions on who may board the TARD-iss, sit at the Star Bar and talk to whomever they want. The only bar rules are pay your tab, don’t hurt anyone and don’t ruin my ship! She’s already 3 inches from 4 degrees Kelvin, and I’m sitting here in my down parka, wrapped in a down comforter, listening to ColdPlay and sipping a White Russian that’s actually a tiny bit blue. But if you want to come aboard and talk to some folks, you are more than welcome: Coalition, Rebels, don’t care. Just… try to have a good time… considering the circumstances…
BTW, I chose Mission 1 not because I want to hurt Pete. I like the guy and he’s done a lot for me. I’m going to try to capture him for the extra $1k. But that all depends on the GM. I may be forced to fire in self-defense. I also chose it because I really don’t think the TARD-iss can handle any of the other missions without getting blown to bits.
The engines of the Burnt Asbestos have been cold for days, its captain clearly keeping his head low, probably in some of the seedier bars in the galaxy. It’s cost him plenty of Grit and lost income, but I guess he’s still alive, and who knows, perhaps this Universe rewards the AWOL just-shows-up-at-the-afterparty hero?
The main net benefit is that I have no allegiance yet either way.
Is it crass to make a decision based on the cost of parts for sale? I guess if that kind of decision-making makes me a dirty outlaw, a dirty outlaw I must be.
Now, for the grit- and cash-disadvantaged, my only real option is is to become terminally ill and then become the biggest blue hydromethane dealer in Charybdis, right? So it’s Outlaw Mission 1 for me, and I hope to get rich quick or go out in a giant blaze of blue crystal explosions, visible from near-by star systems.
Shopping at Scrapyard Pete’s:
Starting cash: $8424
57 x Hull Repairs: $3100
1 x Moonshine: $4000
3 x Lucky pennies: $1500 I’ll need all the luck I can get
9 The Cobra II is totally badass. To take the Coalition’s tech and then blast away at their squadron isn’t a backstabber, it’s a total baller. I’d doff my hat if I had one.
Below are the mission choices for eight ships that we know the Coalition is willing to pay to attack Pete’s scrapyard. Is anyone capable of improving on Captain Jameson’s performance?
** uncommitted**
Zhe Shadow Pacifist
Mission 2 or 3 : Let Pete Be
Das Boot
Grey Mouser
Iron Giant
Quisquiliae sStruem
Dracarys
Ironclad Cochrane*
** Mission 1: Fuck Over Pete. ** TARD-iss (Notified Endogenous Escrow that will try to save Pete)
Note that the $1,000 starbucks with Endogenic Escrow is uncancelable, so the reward for spiriting Pete to safety remains, whatever mission one chooses.
It isss becoming clear that the Coalition isss playing a game with usss.
Headsss they win, tailsss we lossse. Thossse who do their dirty work find their rewardsss lessssss than they hoped, and yet they have no choice but to sssign up to more of the sssame. Every day we risssk our necksss, out of bravado, out of greed, out of a desssire to demonssstrate our ‘grit’, and for what? All our earningsss are ploughed back into patching up our ssshipsss ssso we can relive the charade again the next day. Two daysss ago we removed a tyrant and pussshed back the Coalition, and the next day we’re back to running contraband. Thingsss were sssupposssed to change.
Our numbersss grow thin. Face factsss - we are an inconvenience to the Coalition - they play usss up againssst each other and we diminisssh. In a rapidly civilizing galaxy perhapsss there isss no need for a frontierssslizard.
The horssse-a-round goesss on and on but thisss lizard wantsss off. When I sssigned up on my firssst ssship, the Alger Hissssss back in…I forget when…, all I wanted wasss excitement, adventure and fassst lizardsss. Now that all ssseemsss ssshallow - but then again, the idea of ssselling up and getting a quiet vivarium in the country doesssn’t appeal either. I don’t know, I guessssss I’m jussst a damn old fool lizard who’sss had too many of thessse Pisssco sssoursss.
The captain wasss a Venutian and inssssisssted on replicating the atmosssphere of that planet. Sssulphuric assssid rain and all. We had to wear masssskssss all the time, couldn’t ssssee a damn thing.
