Badass Space Dragon - Round 7 - Sans Sheriff

games
23

Right!

24

META:

Yeah, my bad. I changed my shopping in one place and my mission in another. Bad Lizsssard!

25

No no… You did fine. Good Space Lizard! I’m just learning as I go, this is a new way to run a game for me and involves a lot of moving parts, I’ll get it all figured out eventually!

26

Could you post a list of the ships which took on mission 1 and mission 2 from yesterday please. I have some rather large debts to pay.

27

Defenders of Pedge

Ironclad Cochrane
First Post1
Jewel of the Desert
The Nitimeistheritime
Nordstjärnan

Revenge on Pedge

Talonis (Tiny)
Aluminum Mallard
Das Boot

The first group had a lot more Fire Power, Shields and Luck but had small deficits in the other columns. The battle lasted 12 rounds which is an unusually long time and why so many people came away with such high damage.

28

Marshal Seldon has a posse!!

corrected

Because Cepheus Maiden didn’t show up, there is $4,000 left of the “escrow” money. Fairness dictates this belongs to the posse.

To that end, I direct Endogenic Escrow to immediately disburse $1,000 to each of the four victors.

*Ironclad Cochrane
First Post1
Jewel of the Desert
Nordstjärnan *

WELL DONE!!!

29

I think you’re double accounting. $4000 went to the Nitimeistheritime. Bit harsssh to pull it from them after their sssacrificssse.

1 Like
30

Hmmm. Looksss like it was a good thing I held my fire againsssst Pedge. Had the Deity joined that fight, we’d probably all be dead.

Except the valiant Captain Pedge, who didn’t even ssstay and fight, leaving his defensssse to otherss while he ssssipped Coalition-issssue Galacta-grog and rifled through the broom closetsss aboard the Sssscylla.

Remember that, everyone.

3 Likes
31

If Tiny hadn’t been such a coward, the Scylla would have dealt with the Talionis for us, and the posse would have made short work of the two defectors.

remember that, everyone.

–David Falkayn

32

And then the Ssscylla would have blown the three remaining outlawsss (no ICUP aligned ssshipsss excssept our fearlessssss Marssshal) in the posssssse into ssspace dussst.

33

I do not believe that followssss, Falkayn. Tiny, a coward? He sssought vengeance for his nessst-brother Mondo, and engaged the foe while fairly ssseriousssly outnumbered and outgunned.

Cowardice meansss sssomething very different from that on Herpeton VI.

I weary of your maneuveringsss. I begin to wonder if your conssstant cheerleading for cooperation has not, in the end, cossst us sssome of the eight sshipsss lossst ssso far thiss fortnight.

I begin to wonder if thiss might not, in fact, be your ultimate design.

34

Did you make that statue!!? That’s awesome!

35

Nah. All my li’l lizards were found by searching “Laser Blast aliens” on Google Images.

The movie’s terrible, but I do so wish I owned one or both of those aliens!

And I do apologize to those who thought I actually made any of those images. Outside of MSPainting in an eyepatch, I can take no credit for any of the imagery.

2 Likes
36

The com screen flickers to life. You untangle the mess of static with Scrapyard Pete’s public key.

This is it kids, if we’re gonna get on the same boat, the time is now. I know you didn’t all get along with Don Mondo and I know you don’t all get along with me… but we’ve got a Coalition warship wading through *our* backyard and it’s escorting a fleet of planet crunchers and sun suckers that are going to mulch all our homes and make juice for the good citizens of the coalition so they can skate on their hoverboards and play games on their immersion cubes.

We’re getting a steady stream of data from our scouts and we even got one mouse on board the Scylla workin’ his way through the cupboards. We got a good plan coming together on that front but it needs another day or two to set.

Our more immediate concern is the Space Rangers. You’ve probably heard of Hawk Granger, Space Dick. He’s got a crew of headhunters plannin’ to round up all us “troublemakers” and then when we’re out of the way, they’ll wrap this place up in so much paperwork you won’t be able to fart without a permit.

So, if you ever loved Charybdis, now is the time to set aside your squabbles and site in your cannons.. And let me tell you, I know something about setting aside squabbles.

- Peter “Scrapyard” Mondowitz

-- SYSTEM NOTE --

Pete has set aside his grudge and is now open for anyone willing to fight for an independant Charybdis. You’ll meet with a trusted guide and be escorted to Pete’s secret workshop to gear up. You are allowed to use Pete’s workshop and then turn against the resistance but there will be consquences.

Ella will not deal with outlaws.

Neutral ships can shop at either location but are not eligible for government programs.

-- SYSTEM NOTE --

Scrapyard Pete's Secret Workshop


This is going to work... because it has to...
Now grab a jackhammer or a shovel, you're on the terraforming team while I fix up your ship. Sorry about the new prices, it's getting harder to get ahold of materials out here.
**Note - Coalition stooges do not know about this secret asteroid but can be guided there under truce if they choose to spit shake that they're going to help the resistance.**
**Rot-Gut** - Almost out. It smells like a sock and tastes like a toe... but it's got a helluva kick! *- $500/Jug* *- $2500/Cask*
**Hull Repairs** - I'll fix you up! *- $200/HP*
**Hull Density Adjustment** - Increases MAX HP. *- $1000/HP*
**Plow** (+5 SH) - Hell, stick one on the front, back, side, wherever. These babies were made for moving molten platinum, I think they'll handle some lasers. *- $5,000*
**Turbo Button** (+5 EN) - Install one of these buttons and your cpu will run twice as fast! It's amazing! *- $5,000*
**~ Beret ~** (+2 GRIT) - Viva La Resistance! *- $10,000 (limit one hat.. ever.) -*
**~ Dunce Cap ~** (+2 GRIT) - It's hard to go through doorways with these on, but they're still cool. Kinda. *- $5,000 (limit one hat.. ever.) -*
**~ Propeller Beanie ~** (+2 GRIT) - Badest of the bad, my friend. In low gravity, you can fly with these things. *- $10,000 (limit one hat.. ever.) -*
**~BBQ Sauce~** - I don't know who hauled this giant tank all the way out here but we've got way too much of this crap. *- $50/jug -*

Ella's Backwater Boutique

Greetings. I am Ella, the owner and operator of Ella's Backwater Boutique. Located on the beautiful ocean planet of Alador, we carry unique handcrafted weapons and high quality electronics. If you grow weary of roughneck traders and inflated prices, please consider shopping with Ella. Civilization in the rough.
***Coalition Contractor: We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Thugs, Brutes, and Scoundrels.***
**~Affordable Repair Act~** (+50 HP) - A generous hull repair program for those ships who have a history of participating in Coalition approved missions. *- FREE -*
**~Hull Repairs~** (+1 HP) - The very best hull repairs, using 100% recycled materials and completely coalition compliant materials. *- $500/ea -*
**~Hull Density Adjustment~** (+1 MAX HP) - Strengthen your hull for life with our hull-istic improvement process. *- $2500/ea -*
**~Homing Missiles~** (+1 FP) - Track down terrorists with the press of a button. *- $1500/ea -*
**~Flak Bursts~** (+1 SH) - A beautiful shower of objects with varied heat and molecular signatures. *- $1500/ea -*
**~Glorious Gadgets, Gizmos and Gewgaws~** (+1 EN) - Parts of all sorts! *- $1500/ea -*
**~Nightshade~** (+1 ST) - Hull paint with embedded pattern replication filaments for cloaking. Defaults to a handsome charcoal black. *- $1500/ea -*
**~Clover Soup~** (+1 LK) - Delicious organic soup made from four leaf clovers and rabbit feet. *- $1500/ea -*
**~ Hat ~** (+2 GRIT) - We carry hats of all sorts, Pork Pies have been popular lately. We no longer carry the Bicorne De Marine. That evil lizard ruined them for all of us. *- $10,000 (limit one) -*
**~Flowers~** - These would look very nice on your ship. Do you have any plants? *- $50/boquet -*
**~Cat Food~** - The fancy kind. A delightful treat for cats or Space Lizards. *- $50/can -*
37

Can I get free repairs from Ella and then buy stuff from Pete?

38

So am I an outlaw or a stooge?

39

If you’re ICUP, yes.

40

Your questioning of my motives grows tiresome. How many times do I need to broadcast:

“Enjoy Life. Make Money. Stay Alive”

At least four of those ships would be alive, Ssssskipper, if they had heeded my analysis.

I went to great effort , and $24,000 of personal expense, to dissuade captains from signing up for mission 2. Das Boot and Aluminum Mallard thought they were smarter, and paid for their hubris. Had those two been rational, there is a 20% chance there would not have been a fight. Also, the Posse would have killed Talionis much faster, probably saving The Nitimeistheritime. Like wise, I explicitly warned Zhe Shadow Pacifist away from mission 4: it was clear that ship was unlikely to survive the mission. Lastly, I took a personal risk trying to keep Talionis away from the posse. Muddlin’ Through would have been target number one had the “eye for an eye” sought to reclaim Don Mondo’s putative eye.

Moving on to more important topics,

We need to discuss space lizard honor:

what should I do with Don Mondo's (putative) eye?

41

Both, hopefully.

42

If you were an outlaw, the Scylla would have ground you up and spat you out. You’re kind of playing both sides. You’re ICUP but Pete is beginning to trust you because of the intel you’ve provided. I guess it’s up to you to decide if you bring the ICUP to his door or go with the resistance.

In more practical terms, you’re eligible for ICUP benefits if you shop at Ella’s.