Bathe in crude oil at Azerbaijan spa


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how do they clean it up. I mean, changing oil in the bikes? I spill it on my hand? it’s a gosh-awful mess to clean.

HOw do they clean crude, much ickier, off, well, “all” of you???

the things I worry about…


If it’s expensive and they did it in medieval times, it must be good for you!


It has to work. Millions of ancient/medieval people who could barely make it to adulthood couldn’t be wrong.


Re the previous bather’s grime, I’m guessing they scrub and shower first. It works in Japan.

Oh, and if they can up the cost by running the oil through the digestive tract of a Siberian tiger and then fractionate the output up on the ISS, put me down for a 15-minute soak next time I’m in town.


While bathing in crude, naturally-bubbling-up-from-the-earth oil, I would additionally like to be entertained – at a safe distance, of course – by Magians invoking flame-demons through cleverly concealed naptha vents.


“Let’s bathe in a well-known carcinogen!”


enjoy your cancer bath!


Why isn’t he smoking?

[note sarcasm]


The little ducky in the tub keeps sinking.


Good that BP didn’t know about this, or they’d attempt to charge the Gulf people extra for the privilege of getting their beaches enhanced.


Every once in a while around here, a farmer will coat his cattle’s hide with vegetable oil, to protect them from black flies and horse flies.

And every once in a bigger while, motor oil will be used by accident. And the cows die.


Maybe they have a filtration system like most hot tubs, only with an oil filter.


So in that movie Constantine were we meant to understand that Lucifer had just enjoyed a relaxing foot bath?


Well this is a story about a man named Jed,
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed…


I never got that bit about “The Texas T.” Texas tea?


Surely it would have properties not unlike bathing in Turpentine. It should burn you in sensitive places.

And then getting the stuff off you afterwards, that must involve a rinsing with turps or metho.


It’s alternative medicine. They tell the customers that it’s safe enough to drink a bathtub of the stuff while also claiming it kills everything. Because they count on their customers being credulous fools, or desperate. Just like all the other alternative medicines. Like accupuncture, or homeopathy, or antineoplastons, or black salve. Either it’s “100% harmless” while it “kills everything and detoxifies” or else it causes a “healing crisis”, and dying because of the “healing crisis” means “you didn’t believe in the cure hard enough, and got what you deserved”. Because all alternative medicine is really just an alternative to medicine.

I hate quackery so damn much. It’s the lowest form of fraud. “I’ll save your life if you give me all your money. Don’t worry about how it works! I say it does work! Are you calling me a liar?”


Heh, you know what’d be trippy? Putting a water fountain in that tub. As thick and viscous as that crude is, it’s less dense than water, so the water fountain would shoot up, the water would land on top of the oil, get swallowed up by the oil, sink to the bottom of the tub, and get sucked into the fountain’s input again.


Call it the Hazelwood Effect