Any good frood knows where their towel is.
It wasn’t really stolen. The so-called “owner” claimed that, by some astounding coincidence, they didn’t have a receipt for the towel. I will leave you to draw your own conclusions in the sand!
This crime actually is very rare. Don’t have nightmares, do sleep well.
Couldn’t we at least crowdfund a replacement towel for the unfortunate victim? Or maybe a trained counsellor to help him/her realise that despite the occurrence of this horrendous crime life does goes on and most of the time we are all completely safe in the realm of towel ownership.
(On the other hand, the mean part of me is thinking that if you buy a Maserati, a Ferrari or a towel with a snazzy logo some bastard is going to try to take it away from you.)
Currently no sign of it Takoma Park, Maryland. I will remain ever vigilant.
Not mentioned in the article, but apparently an almost 3/4 full can of Coke was taken, as well.
My thoughts are with the victim. Wearing my TowelStrong bracelet.
I seemed to have “misplaced” my virginity a while back. Can you get them to have a look about for that as well?
A thousand rat-tail snaps to the perp.
You laugh but that east coast water is cold any time of the year.
That towel wasn’t stolen, it ran away! I saw it yesterday lounging on the beach in Huntington Beach, California with a hot dude in a speedo.
I last saw it in Newport Beach, CA, USA. Its alternate name is Towelie and likes to get high to turn blue.
Tynemouth isn’t in Northumberland, but confusingly the police force for the area are called Northumbria Police.
“The horror! The horror!”
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in the article, the following organisations may be able to provide help and advice…
You can have mine, if you like, it’s hardly worn at all.
A stand-up comic, I forget who, once compared crime in the U.S. to crime in the U.K. In the U.S., we hear about the shootings, car jackings, etc, while in Britain the lead story is “Three hooligans tipped over a rubbish bin in Leeds.”