Because F#CK you, metric system!

Ikea releasing a meatball the size of a turkey

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poronkusema – (approximately 7.5 km). A Sami measurement of distance; the distance a reindeer can travel before needing to stop to urinate. Today used to describe something that is at a very obscure distance away.

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That seems like a lot or stopping to pee for the reindeer!

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Reindeer can’t pee while running, and they may experience paralysis if they don’t pee often enough.

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wow. the opposite of the ā€œpee pee danceā€ - pee pee paralysis!

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I can’t either, unless I’m ok with wet leg,

as for the other half, when my back teeth are floating, I really can’t concentrate on much else…

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i’m okay with wet leg. kind of 90s pop punk, but… checks watch… written yesterday? really, they’re fun.

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I need a standard stoat, for science!

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Careful you don’t get a blackmarket weasel by mistake…

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No such thing, I’m afraid. They’re all stotally different from one another.

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I need an Imprerial stoat, for an end of week beverage!

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it’s true! the iguana forecast, that is.

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That’s when they’re so cold they lose their grip and fall from trees, ceilings, walls, etc., right?

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I see your stout and raise you a marten.

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yup.
and that’s because here we would use iggies as a temperature rather than say, ā€œoh, my! it will drop to 7C tonight! look out for falling iguanaā€™ā€

and for the record, here in the Conch, i’ve only seen that phenomenon once, when a smallish (say… 12-15 banana in length, because we could never say 1.25 meters…) green iguana dropped from the nieghbor’s tree into my yard some years ago.

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