Big dummies flew off Jersey Shore rollercoaster and crashed on hotel roof

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/05/02/big-dummies-flew-off-jersey-sh.html

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They have dummies every day on this ride.

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“You must be this rigid to go on this ride.”

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You know you don’t lose rigidity in a person.

I’m kinda busy. Does someone else want to take a swing at a joke about middle aged men?

I see @Jorpho is on the case.

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What’s missing from this story? The owner of the park saying, “we replaced the defective dummies and reran the test a dozen times with no further problems.”

Instead he’s like, “yeah, we failed the test but the test was dumb anyway.”

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“Obviously it’s not something that would ever happen with a person in it,” Hartley said. “You know you don’t lose rigidity in a person. The lap bar comes down. You’re secured in there.”

But what if you are like Wally, and vomit up your skeleton? I’ll bet that makes your body limp enough to go flying out of the roller coaster, while your skeleton does whatever skeletons do in these situations.

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Obligatory Sanford and Son reference:

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Danny-DeVito-Nope

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“Safety is our top priority,” he said.

Might want to buckle in and prove it. You’ve got the press. Use it.

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When asked for a quote, the Dummies replied “MMM MMM MMM MMM”

(Sorry not sorry)

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Nope

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Both dummies were named ED.

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“You know you don’t lose rigidity in a person.”

I present Exhibit A: Stretch Potterstrong!

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The theme park’s vice president Brian Hartley blamed the accident on the dummies and says that the rollercoaster is “100 percent safe.”

In NJ, it seems they all want to be the next Action Park:

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Was totally picturing different dummies.

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Precisely what level of rigidity is required to avoid being tossed onto a hotel roof? Because I’ve seen enough internet videos to know that when people get scared enough to pass out on a ride they get kinda floppy.

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They use lap bars to secure the riders. I’m pretty sure that owning properly installed and maintained femurs qualifies one as “rigid enough”.

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Full over-the-shoulder harness for me, please.

Hartley:

“Obviously it’s not something that would ever happen with a person in it,” Hartley said. “You know you don’t lose rigidity in a person. The lap bar comes down. You’re secured in there.”

So, is there a such thing as a disorder where certain rare people really love to make stupid statements for the express purpose of having the words shoved back in their faces during depositions later down the line?

“Get me in the conference room with those lawyers! I can’t wait!”

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You are describing what we might call Trump’s Disorder, except (a) it’s not rare, and (b) we haven’t gotten to the depositions-down-the-line phase yet.

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