Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/06/12/bizarre-health-fads-a-roundup-of-the-top-10-strangest-fake-medicines.html
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As a physician licensed to practice in the US, let me just say “Oh. Hell. No!!”
Nothing good here, nothing cute here, only danger and trauma. Avoid at all costs.
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“I tried homeopathy, but I forgot my meds one day and overdosed.”
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Earthing:
Earthing mats… the science behind these mats is shaky at best
No, there is no science behind it. Coincidentally i somewhat recently listened to a podcast talking about it and it’s just all bunk. Even if someone believed that Earthing could be a thing then just like… go outside bare foot. It’s free.
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Who could possibly think that ingesting your own body’s waste products would be good for you?
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Magnetic bracelets - I admit to almost buying one once. Marvel marketed one similar to the one Stark wears in the first Avengers movie in the bar scene with Loki. I thankfully found it far too expensive to have as a novelty.
Ear candling - this feels like it should work, but of course does not. I’ve tried it, and thankfully wasn’t hurt, but I did the same test as I think I saw on Mythbusters or similar - let one run down without being in my ear and it had the same amount of junk as the one that was used. Because it’s junk from it burning. There’s a place we drive past to visit one relative and they have a massive sign on the street that says “EAR CANDLING HERE!” which lets me know that I shouldn’t be anywhere near them.
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Wow, didn’t take long to draw that one in, did it? Like moths to a flame.
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Right, I mean your body is trying to get rid of them!?! 
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I have my own urine therapy.
It involves: urinating. That’s all.
Hey, maybe no real scientific data, all I know is I feel better afterwards.
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The Wikipedia article linked in the section on Oscillococcinum was a reminder that, many years ago I took an entertaining 15 minutes or so to work out the maths on a “200CK dilution” of duck liver.
I can’t remember the result, but based on the 200CK dilution it required multiple observable universes to provide even one molecule from a duck liver. Amazingly strong stuff by homeopathic standards.
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Oscillococcinum - not even a quack remains thanks to the ultimate quack medicine of homeopathy.
Though cupping and auras might be in with a shout.
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How to make friends at work.
Me: What’s with that fancy bracelet?
Guy at work: Oh, it’s magnetic, for the arthritis in my knee.
Me: That’s interesting. I was just reading an article about the surprising effectiveness of placebos.
Guy at work:… (never speaks to me again)
I count that as a win.
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The dilution argument doesn’t really work against homeopathy. Proponents believe that the water magically receives some sort of essence or “energy” during the dilution process.
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They believe that water has “memory” or “imprint” of the substance. Which reminds me that every drop on Earth as some point was “imprinted” with dinosaur pee and “memory” of feces. Enjoy!
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But then any water on earth should cure everything, or am I misunderstanding something?
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Who knew goats were so cutting edge?
(If you are having trouble seeing it, this billy goat is peeing in his mouth to be attractive to the ladies.)
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Now, now, now - it’s much more than just that - the preparation has to be tapped or shaken (pompously called ‘succussion’) for it to work. As one homeopath giving evidence to a House of Commons committee said “You have to shake it vigorously […] if you just stir it gently, it does not work”. Obviously, no one can agree how hard or often it should be succussed - only that it has to be done, preferably on a leather surface filled with horsehair.
And if you think that’s as bizarre as it gets, there are homeopathic ‘imponderables’ in which alcohol ‘remembers’ it has been exposed to sunlight or X-rays.
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