“Within my titays, whereon thou dost lie,
My boding heart pants, beats, and takes no rest,
But, like an earthquake, shakes thee on my titties.”
Things Shakespeare’s wife might have said.
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Hey, nice quislings!!
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I’m guessing that neither you or I spend a whole lot of time thinking about pet names for breasts.
Er, I mean, ganzonga-whompers.
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fleshy mounds of wonderment
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Pretty much this. I know when playing games it’s often spelled with with double D’s which is a pun I didn’t intend to make. I always figured it was kind of a combination of getting past profanity filters and a nod to the fact that most game breasts, especially with anime type drawings but also eleswhere are sort of so far removed from the actual human body they kind of deserve their own word. Who knows? A rose by any other name I guess. I’m a fan of all breasts, even most men’s.
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Tit! Tit!
It’s such a tinny word.
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What if you are trying to be more nuanced?
Boobs for normal mammories. “That is a mighty fine set of boobs, and the dress accentuates them perfectly”.
Breasts when you’re trying to sound a little more upscale. “This 18th century art depicts a woman reclining with a single exposed breast.”
Titties when you’re trying to sound more street. “Yo girl, those are some fine ass titties!”
Tits when talking about gonzo fakes that look unnatural. “It’s really a shame that she went to the cut rate doctor to get those tits installed”.
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It’s derogatory to refer to a woman’s breasts as “boobs”, “jugs”, “winnebagos” or “golden bozos”… you should only refer to them by their God-given name, “hooters”. – Steve Martin
Believe it or don’t, Martin’s performance of this bit (“what I believe”) on Saturday Night Live inspired the name of the tacky restaurant!
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There are tits:
and Great tits:
then there are “boobs”
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My favorite:
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Personally, what I look for in a woman is her huge… tracts of land.
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BEWBS
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Takasissanay-nays
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I fear this is a serious article, and serious viewpoint. Sigh.
“Titties” is a stupid word. It’s so stupid and gross
No. No it isn’t. Any more than ‘m o i s t’ is. Both claims are purely subjective personal views. Trying to impose some weird new usage on the rest of us just because some trendy young millenial thing (or indeed anyone) gets all “eeeeew” over a few letters in a particular order, is simply not on. Not at all, no sirree.
As for:
“Titties with a ‘t’ is nice, but it just sounds like college boys talking about boobs,” she says. “Tiddies is ‘we are older, but we are recognizing we are making a joke about boobs.’” Because “titties” is so ridiculous
Yes the author can bring her own sensibilities, and even share them with us, but the fact that titties sounds like college boys, etc. is the author’s problem and that does not mean it should be made everyone (or indeed, anyone) else’s problem. And people going around saying tiddies would make me think “what are they, 12 or something” - which is what I’d think if I ever heard titays, too. And that would be my problem but I’m not going to write a (clickbait?) magazine article about it.
Of course, if the whole thing is a humourous wind-up (which I doubt, there seems serious intent here) then whoosh and/or colour me unamused, and mumble, mumble, something about lawns, and probably political correctness gone mad, too! 
Anyway, to conclude, the point of this ramble is to remind everyone that it is a long-proven axiom, of course, that breast is best.
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Hmmm. "Nice Funko Pops!"… "Nice Fantasy Islands!"… "Nice Corgis!" (my corgi is looking at me while I eat my toast)…
Now I just want to spend the rest of the day thinking of un-sexy euphemisms for breasts.
"Nice letters from the IRS!"… "Nice Trumps!"
sigh
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I could go on:
Booby
Chick
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/chick
Cock
I think we secretly all want to fuck birds.
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