Brexit Crisis: Church of England to host Emergency Tea Parties

So she can come scrape the moldy bits off?

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“Jesus saves,
But the Devil scores on the rebound.”
Annon.

“Stands the Brexit clock at ten to three?
And is there money still for tea?”
Rupert Brooke

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“Jesus saves. Everyone else takes full damage.”

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Every fucker. I hate dried fruit but every cream tea I try seems to be crammed with the wrinkly, turd-like bastards.

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Let’s not do this. I remember last time.

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And now some genius has come up with this:

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Of course, Jesus has a +20 Racial mod, so he walks away unharmed. This is Testament 5e.

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Oh ye of ittle faith! I’m a pagan of long-standing and even I can see this could work!
Mind you - I got married on Saturday (Civil ceremony - we were handfasted years ago.). My sister and her man came over from Norn Iron (Northern Ireland) . He had been posting all kinds of Brexit crap on FB, down to memes from UKIP (WTF, dude?) so we was a little nervous sister would be sharing his views. But no, she laid into the Brexit fiasco with all the vehemence the rest of us shared, and yer man, bless him, kept silent. Apparently there is (or was) a knot of Brexit sympathy in Antrim. Anyway, I like Paul, our local vicar. I tell him his threads are cool every time I see him in his robes.

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And half of them with relevant detective expertise - well, half of those in my experience - are not CofE but Roman Catholic, anyway.

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They can fuck off, come back and fuck off again.

The vision of a cozy, cuddly, bake-off fetishising, country pub with a bulldog in a union flag waistcoat, blitz spirit, “it’s fine as long as we’ve got teabags” BULLSHIT is what got us into this mess. People seem to short circuit when confronted with reality and they’re course correcting in the shittiest, stupidest little Englander way imaginable.

For the record, I’d still like to punch every leave voter until they got detached retinas and I don’t see how this chinless prick and his book of mealy-mouthed lies are going to change that.

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Not enough likes to give … and soon we may not even have teabags.

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I guess it’s a pretty good defence against shadowy cabals to just act so chaotic that their weird plans don’t come off.

“Haha! Good luck with your geopolitical chess game! Turns out we’re just… so dumb… You tried to set us up with a trap of Machiavellian deviousness, BUT WE GOT CONFUSED AND JAMMED THE PIECES UP OUR NOSE”

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Why not go with alternating currant?

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Or, preferably, just eat the fruit raw. Direct currant.

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Hmmm I shall need to pass blackcurrant and redcurrant jelly (not jam) on to the advanced research division.

As for raspberry, it’s the pips - cream teas should never be interrupted by people picking pieces of vegetation from between their teeth. That sort of behaviour lost us the colonies.

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Ooooh ok then. I do feel compelled here to make a positive pitch for how good it is to have dietary fiber in one’s dietary intake. Fiber is good.

The pips problem can be solved with a jelly bag and stand, if one were making raspberry jelly:

Or muslin cloth, in a colander, if one wishes to simplify:
https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shop/gb/groceries/kilner-5pc-preserve-starter-set

I once eat a plain scone with rose petal jam. Ok, two scones.

For the fiber-free version, check in with Martha Stewart:

It was insanely tasty. If I get to eat a real scone with organic rose petal jam and real clotted cream, cf. Episode 9 of

… then I can probably die happy.

Most of us Texans carry knives, usually the folding kind. Pocket knife, Swiss army knife…

Richards wore designer suits but picked her teeth, and she cleaned her fingernails with a Swiss Army knife.

… or pen knife, or one of these buck knives:
https://www.cabelas.com/product/Buck-Knives-Folding-Hunter-Knife/714031.uts

We pick our teeth with 'em if there ain’t a decent tree branch handy.
:wink:

Thanks for writing.
America is having its own problem losing parts of its own empire these days. I hear you.

ETA: more going on and on about rose petal jam

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