Brilliant short story about being trapped in an infinite IKEA


Originally published at:


Frightening, to the bone.


Ikea jokes never get old.


Sounds a little like the Ikea version of Borge’s Library of Babel.


I’m in!





#“infinite IKEA”

Just that phrase alone is horrifying; as if a regular monolithic IKEA store isn’t bad enough…


Bloody great.


“Borges Buys a Billy Bookcase”


Hilarious. And obligatory:


Four examples of learned helplessness seem to be be still
socially expected:

  1. teeHee, I’m female, changing a tire is too complicated

  2. teeHee, I’m male, cleaning and washing is too complicated.

  3. I get lost in an IKEA store.

  4. I needed hours to assemble one piece of IKEA furniture.


Yay, another SCP fan! I’ve spent way too much time at that site over the past few years.


SCP fans might like Warehouse 13, if they haven’t seen it already.

Basically the same idea, but played for comedy more than horror.


Something like this happened to my mother and her partner. They weren’t in good enough shape to walk the whole way through in one go so they kept stopping, resting and getting turned around. Eventually the Ikea staff rescued them and set them free in the outdoors.


I feel like the topic is an adequate excuse to post this:


As far as I am concerned, you win the internet for today. Cheers! :beer:


IKEA Syst.


“We began by setting out across the central passenger concourse that separates the two hemispheres of the station. This wide deck is furnished with thousands of tables and chairs. But on reaching the high partition doors 200 metres away we discovered that the restaurant deck is only a modest annex to a far larger concourse. An immense roof three storeys high extends across an open expanse of lounges and promenades. We explored several of the imposing staircases, each equipped with a substantial mezzanine, and found that they lead to identical concourses above and below.”


I loved the story. I realize now I need to read more fiction.

Also, what the hell did I just read? Not the content, the… structure? format? layout? I like to think I`m smarter than the average bear, but this left me confused.

Please, somebody help me get my bearings…


csilvest is trapped in an endless short story.