British people proudly held a virtual knob-eating contest

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/05/13/british-people-proudly-held-a.html

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I think it really ought to be called a knob gobbling contest. I do hope the Dorset knob gobblers adopt this clearly superior nomenclature.

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I don’t know who this Vinny is, but… no thanks. I’ll take my knob dry.

Knob means the same thing in UK slang as it does in the US. I thought this was going to be a cannibal feast where people were serving up some Jacob Rees-Mogg.

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But “biscuit” isn’t what we in UK call a biscuit. Our biscuits are your cookies. I have no idea what a knob is (I do suspect that is a very localised Dorset thing). I have never been entirely certain what a US “biscuit” is, either, in UK parlance.

(And a video with three ‘frames’? That really conveyed the excitement!)

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I found this:

The cause of much mirth among Dorset schoolboys for decades, Dorset Knobs are made from bread dough which contains extra sugar and butter, rolled and shaped by hand and baked three times.

BTW, just after the entry describing the knobs, there is this:

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An American biscuit is a british scone.

Don’t ask me what American ‘gravy’ is; I’ve eaten it and I still don’t know.

To my American friends - be very careful if you ever are allowed to visit the UK again - the vast majority of people here most certainly do NOT call biscuits ‘knobs’, and won’t know what you’re talking about.

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Good way to make new friends though…

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it’s funnier to think about Ye Olde Dorset Dick-eating Contest

You’re thinking of the Spotted Dick eating contest. Totally different.

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“I could eat a knob at night.”

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I was going to say ‘scone’ but we put raisins/sultanas in them (sometimes) and jam and cream on them. We do NOT EVER put them in gravy.

We put dumplings in gravy and whilst these may use flour in some types, others are suet.

So no - “biscuits” are not scones. Even if made to the same or similar recipe, usage dictates they are different things. :wink:

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Vinnie…

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But he IS a REAL knob (knobhead, actually) - not a virtual one.

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Blue Vinny has fewer clothes on.

(PS You’re not Red Leicester, are you, by any chance?)

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Blue Vinnie:

Organisers said entries had come in from all corners of the UK, including Castle Donington, Ellesmere Port and

…wait for it…

Cockermouth.

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Oh, that guy! Hard pass.

I’m British, to clarify.

If I put bacon and syrup on a pancake (WHY?!), it’s still a pancake.

An American biscuit is basically exactly the same thing as a plain British scone, whatever you choose to do with it. We put cheese in scones too; they’re still scones.

We do in fact sometimes put scones with gravy - British, not American. Beef cobbler is a beef stew (with British gravy) topped with scones. https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/beef_cobbler_with_79871

And we have, to my knowledge, no equivalent of what Americans call gravy. As far as I can tell, it’s a béchamel with sausagemeat in it.

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Imagine being able to boast you come from a long line of knob-gobblers.

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At that point I’d refer to them as dumplings, despite it being cobblers.
The moment it is put in a stew, it is dead to me, as a scone. :wink:

(And cheese scones are my favourite variety.)

Is that one of those human caterpillar type things?

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