Calendar for lighthouse haters




I love this more than I should.


I really like lighthouses, but this is great. I’d hang that on my office wall.


i’d spring for this one (for myself, not as a gift).


I like lighthouses too, but the regular calender put out every year annoys the crap out of me.


This tumblr page shows the cover and pages for Jan, Mar, Jun, and Oct; all appear to have been shot from the safety of solid land.

I wonder if Sean’s opinion would change after being a few miles offshore at 3 a.m. tied off to a cleat on a pitching, rolling deck being regularly swamped by walls of water, with all electrics and electronics drowned, a failing manual bilge pump, and only a jenny for power…there is absolutely nothing sweeter to see than the beam sweeping out from a 3rd-order Fresnel.


Well one thing’s for sure, he’s not a sailor, nor has he probably been on a ship in a storm.



Maybe someone will give you one for Christmas


Nah, he’d be all, from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee and then he’d drown, deeply satisfied with the purity of his beacon loathing.


I’ll wager his skin ne’er felt the lash of a cat ‘o’ nine tails, been rubbed with salt, and then flayed off by a pirate chief to make fine stockings for his best cabin boy.


Thanks for caring, but Santa hooked me up with a sense of humor back in '54 – best gift I ever got (thanx, big guy!). However, a lighthouse saved my ass in 1974, and I try to pay down that debt every chance I get.


I like lighthouses when I’m at sea, but I really like snark when I’m ashore. I am of two minds.


How about a calendar with lighthouses like these:


What’s with all the lighthouse hate? Did I miss something? Lighthouses are awesome.


Arguably, you should love this a helluva lot. When does it become too much?


I see what ye did tharr…


Hmm, maybe I love it just the right amount.


It’s terrible indeed.


The publisher wishes to assure any Jehova’s Witnesses who may be offended that these are lighthouses rather than watchtowers and any similarity is unintentional.


If you only had a jenny for power, what good would a lighthouse do apart from warning of the rocks that you will inevitably strike without any propulsion?

Edit: I was once in a somewhat similar situation, although on what was probably a bigger ship. Three days into a typhoon off the coast of the Philippines and being chased by a second typhoon, our main engine failed and we only had one of the three generators for electricity. We went broadside to the storm and waves were crashing with some force onto the windows of the dining room (about 8 m above the water line), which is where I happened to be. Anything that wasn’t bolted down was all over the place by this point. In the midst of the carnage, I saw a friend (who was 19 at the time) sitting quietly at a table writing to her boyfriend. Not because she thought she was going to die, but because she had already survived a shipwreck when she was 7, and writing to her boyfriend was the next thing on her agenda for the day. No great relation to lighthouses, but I thought it was pretty badass.