Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/09/12/critics-claim-penis-gummies-lo.html
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For once you give someone license to say that something is a dick and they turn around and say “nuh-uh, it’s a lighthouse.”
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the tasty treats in fact resemble lighthouses , a perverse symbol of the shipping industry, long-associated with press-ganging, slavery, shipwrecks and other atrocities on the high seas.
Can we all play?
Maybe: “resemble lighthouses, a reflection (see what I did there?) of man’s instinct to build a large, penis-shaped structure at any and every possible available opportunity. The Victorians were right when they insisted lighthouses should be shrouded in cloth, leaving only the light visible”
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I can kind of see their point. Now that it’s been pointed out, in fact, i can only see lighthouses. Disgusting!
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Once seen, never unseen.
ETA I also see what you did there with your pointed language.
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two things…
- They do look like penises AND lighthouses
- Uh, Lighthouses are associated with what now? The only thing I ever associated a lighthouse with is a museum or ya know…to identify rocks/shoals where ships shouldn’t get go.
Seriously Rob? Lighthouses? We can’t have lighthouses in the nice things category?
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Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to call them rocketships in launch.
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I thought that these were Gummy Einstein Towers?!
They are being grouped with Penises; aren’t Penises “nice things”?
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Associated with ship wreck… prevention?
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Well— when ships wreck they spill their seamen on the rocks and that’s a sin, so I’m going with the lighthouse as a symbol of continence, moral rectitude, and devotion.
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[insert that clip from The Lighthouse trailer with Dafoe and Pattinson saying “What?” a hundred times here]
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sometimes a cigar is just a cigar
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“a perverse symbol of the shipping industry, long-associated with press-ganging, slavery, shipwrecks and other atrocities on the high seas”
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Happy sailors indeed.
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“There’s a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I’d be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts”
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So, a bag of sugary dicks, essentially.
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Little tiny tRump wiener gummies, I love it.
Pretty ballsy comment, my friend.
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