California postures toward secession


#1

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#2

Sorry, Jason, if California succeeds our plans to use my putative Grumman Goose to fight fascists here in the Bay Area will have to wait, as I plan on fighting a Fifth Column in favor of the Union. I think you would be an awesome foil, though, for the future series.

I anticipate a great final stand-off in Bolinas Lagoon.


#3

As much as this idea fills me with glee, the fact is that the Great Nation of California is going to have a lot of trouble feeding themselves in the coming years of global warming.


#4

Well, if nothing else, maybe we can adopt the cooler, older flag.


#5

Which is perfect for my Trump Presidency plans for CA…


#6

So assuming Drumpf wins, my choices are to

  1. stay in CA and suffer through some crazy civil war or
  2. haul ass to Canada or Mexico and hope they let me in or
  3. denounce my Californian citizenship and migrate to some other state in the US, but shit, it won’t matter because if he wins, the four horsemen of the apocalypse are on their way and we’re all completely screwed.

#7

Well as long as you don’t end up in Jesusland it’s all good isn’t it?


#8

I believe there is a certain group of folks of a certain age and social bent that cannot hear the name “Jerry Brown” without also hearing Jello screaming in your ear.


#9

California, I call upon you to join your West coast brothers and sisters in secession and form the Progressive Republic of Pacifica. Hopefully we can convince our northern neighbor British Columbia to join us. What say ye?


#10

I dunno man. Under Harper I would have been all for, but this Trudeau guy seems okay… for now.

Maybe give us a call in four years and we’ll all reassess, K?


#11

Actually it’s all the other states that are going to have to worry about food shortages if California parts ways.

FTA:

California produces a sizable majority of many American fruits, vegetables, and nuts: 99 percent of artichokes, 99 percent of walnuts, 97 percent of kiwis, 97 percent of plums, 95 percent of celery, 95 percent of garlic, 89 percent of cauliflower, 71 percent of spinach, and 69 percent of carrots (and the list goes on and on). Some of this is due to climate and soil. No other state, or even a combination of states, can match California’s output per acre.

California could cut way back on food production and still have more than enough surplus to feed its own residents. But the rest of the country would have to find a new produce section.


#12

I once added up the GDP of CA, OR, WA and BC. If we form our own country, we’d have one of the biggest economies in the world. Just putting it out there…


#13

At least our National Anthem is settled ahead of time.


#14

California is one of the largest 10(??) economies on earth, stand alone.


#15

You think the Colorado River Compact survives California succession? All the big snorkels are upstream of us.


#16

Plenty of bargaining power on this side of the border too: if they threaten to turn off our water we threaten to turn off their internet.


#17

Well, both are a series of tubes, albeit incompatible.


#18

And access to the Pacific and Asian countries that make all their stuff.

Maybe we could get Baja from Mexico…


#19

Both carry streaming media.


#20

Last I heard we were at #7, which makes sense when you consider all the industries based here. Silicon Valley alone probably makes up a bigger share of the American economy than most of the lower-populated states put together.