Carl's Jr's Flamin' Hot Cheetos Thickburger, seriously

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Though this isn’t generally the sort of thing I go after (you put chips on it? Really? That’s kind of lazy), the increasingly weird fast food abomination releases are some of the only times I bother to eat fast food. I think that if fast food places generally gave up on the “its healthy and reasonable thing to eat!” messaging and just went whole hog embracing their trash food status people would likely eat it less often, and it’d be more fun. And they’d be able to work out a niche where they could survive rather than scrambling to compete with slightly better (at least in quality if not calorie count) “fast casual” places.

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I give Carl’s Jr. / Hardee’s credit- their advertising is immediately recognizable, mostly because every single ad they put out is utterly nauseating. Whether it’s because of the fake oversized crap fast food, or the hyper-sexualized models pretending to choke it down, one glance is enough to know what’s being advertised and to make my stomach churn.

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I just remember the boycotts in the late 80s and refuse to eat at them.

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Fuck you! I’m eating.

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I don’t remember those. Were they boycotted because of Carl Karcher’s politics? I seem to remember he was a big backer of Proposition 6 back in the late 70s, which would have banned homosexual people from employment in public schools. Even Ronald Reagan was pretty aghast at the prospect.

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I’m vaguely curious about this thing. But:

My old apartment was across the street from a Carl’s Junior. I used to call ahead and ask them to put up an order of fries with no salt. When they stopped doing that, I went a lot less often.

Then: Walked to the same Carl’s Junior, now a mile walk away. Place was deserted. Waited at the inside counter. Got a couple of nods from the only visible clerk, who was working the drive-through via wireless headset. After five minutes without more than a “be right with you” I walked out.

F.U., Carl.

(After reading about CKE’s politics:

F.U. w/ a F.B.*, Carl.)

*Fryer basket.

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Yes at about the same time CKE discovered that subsidizing college cafeteria rehabilitations with long term on-campus contracts for fast food eateries was a good practice, they also were openly nasty about gays and abortion.

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Don’t worry, they were fairly recently acquired by Roark Capital Group… which was actually named after Howard Roark…

Okay, boycott resumed.

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If they have a veggie burger they can make like that, I’d try it. Probably not more than once :-), but still.

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Fatburger

Does what it says on the tin.

Well for one I think fat burger is one of those “fast casual” places I was taking about . Weird catagory the only firm difference seems to be that food is vaguely higher quality and yuppies aren’t ashamed to eat there.

For two their splash page has a “100% lean ground beef” graphics. Which strikes me as trying to have things both ways. Lean beef makes dry burgers, but people think it’s healthier so it’s good marketing. Dropping 10% of the fat from one component of a massive burger doesn’t make it a wiser choice to eat at a place called fat burger that names it’s products after sweatpant sizes.

They should stop caring about leaness. Give a limited run burger where the patty is 100% ground bacon. Or where the bun is 2 pucks of fried cheesecake. Boggle my mind. I’ll skip lunch and eat salad the rest of the week to justify assaulting my body at your establishment.

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Fatburger is excellent, though. My favorite burger joint in L.A., though I don’t get there more than once every couple years or so. And the music on the juke kicks ass, too.

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Truth be told, I’ve never been to Fatburger, I just know about it from LA based podcasts.

But seriously I think all the crap fast food places should be renamed in such a fashion.

McDonalds => McArterial Embollisms
Burger King => Cholesterol Oligarch
Dick’s Drive in => Taint’s
Dairy Queen => Carageenan Connection

You watch your goddamn mouth!

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Hey man, I eat at Dick’s at least once a week these days, but there’s a reason why they’re cheap.

Dick’s does have the best burgers in their price-bracket, but that bracket is still pretty much the worst burgers.

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I would contend they’re the only burgers in their price bracket. And yes, you get what you pay for. But how dare you compare that hallowed institution to McMeaty’s and Burger Lord.

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I’m sorry, this is a bit ADD, but, between your outrage and your avatar, that quote from the GitS SAC 1st GiG in the episode “Chat! Chat! Chat!”.

The guy Motoko back-hacks into a private-session says early on “Don’t talk like that… Or they’ll send a bomb to your email.” referencing the laughing man fans going fanatical if you mock them.

I actually use this at work (Tech support Helldesk), when a colleague gets salty about a particularly bad user. I just tell them “don’t talk like that. They’ll send a bomb to your email.”

We’re all big GitS fans at work.

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I try to take the quote to heart, to stay out of screaming matches. I find its better to vent thr outrage over truly silly things. Much easier to keep an even keel. I’d rather shut up and listen when it comes to the big stuff.

My father and I have turned GitS into a bit of a game. We scour the Web for stories that bring the tech and concepts closer to fact, further from fiction. According to the score, we are on pace for the time line set by Masamune-san.

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Really? Brain-implant nano-tech with universal memory transfer by 2026 or so? I’d say that’s optimistic…

But honestly, I can’t wait till I can ditch my meatsuit. I wouldn’t want to go for a Jameson, but something decently useful and human-looking would make me very happy.

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