As long as they need us to open the tins of catfood we are still useful.
Cat knows how to overflow reservoir tray and ruin flooring… but can he provide basic transportation?
In order to be evil you need to be either
a) Highly stupid
b) Highly intelligent
Cats are evil.
I’m always wondering when my cats will figure out that they can hit the lever to turn the water on, just like I do, and proceed to flood our house. They’re certainly fascinated about it, and have figured out that turning the water involves touching the lever in some fashion (which they do with their paws), but can’t seem to comprehend the full motion required. The water cooler in this video is unfortunately for that cat-owner perfectly designed to be super easy for the cat to accidentally trigger when pawing at it. Doubt there’s no way to get this cat to un-know this skill.
One of our old cats was, IMHO, a genius among felines. He would flush the toilet for his own amusement, but many cats do that.
It was answering the phone where he really stood out. We had one line with three extensions. If someone called the house, and we answered anywhere other than the kitchen, he would (after a minute or so) knock the kitchen handset off the cradle and start listening. The loud crashing sound, followed by purring and vaguely obscene breathing on the line, was a dead giveaway.
Then he discovered he could knock the phone off the hook at any time and hear the dial tone, operator’s recorded voice, and annoying loud beeping. We missed many calls due to the kitchen extension being off the hook.
We tried covering it with various things, but he would just knock them off first. We eventually succeeded by covering the phone with an upended iron pressure cooker that was too heavy for him. The missed calls stopped, but the phone always sounded like it was in a bank vault.
Cats are chaotic evil. FTFY.
Cat handles a watercooler like a pro. Human still struggles to hold camera still.
Suspicious cut where human clearly raised and placed the animal’s paw on the tap
This is my standard response to “cats are evil”. (I agree.)
Human seems interested in something I am doing.
Stop doing thing.
(a story I have posted here before) A girlfriend of mine once woke me shrieking on a visit to my mother’s (who, at the time hat twenty, yes, twenty, cats), as she had gone downstairs to get some cereal, at which point the cats mobbed her, surrounding her feet and hopping up onto the bench, thus forcing her to protect her breakfast by raising her bowl above her head. This was the moment humans lost, and the actual attack came: the cat secreted in advance on top of the kitchen cupboards batted it out of her hand onto the floor, and the mess swiftly disappeared into said bewhiskered demons (the same weekend, I also found a kitten in the refridgerator cheerfully gnawing on a cucumber. There was also a dog that had a lampshade on for almost a year, as it was too goddamn stupid to stop eating it’s own tail. We had some weird pets).
In the 1980’s, my grandmother’s cat, Frederika, hated my mom’s hair.
It would wait on top of the refrigerator when my mom came into the house and as she entered the kitchen, the cat would swipe down with both front arms - claws extended - at my mom’s head! It didn’t do it to anyone else - just my mom, and just with that ultra-curly mid-80s perm.
I think it believed she was some type of sheep.
The same cat would also steal chocolate donuts if they were left unattended.
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