Check your fear and get in gear — the VAN-PIRES are here!

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I’m reading the Wikipedia article now.

There’s no way this is real. It reads too much like a Conan O’Brien bit.


I was so ready for that to be a riff on lame TV show concepts from the late '90s. It makes Street Sharks look like high art.

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I actually remember this, although, I don’t think I ever got far beyond the opening credits of an episode.

Oh, dear.

I was reading through thinking it might at least be an unaired pilot that attracted some Wiki-vandalism.

The I hit the character that was a direct reference to a Castlevania character that was most popular following a game that wouldn’t have been out when this was produced.

I’m sure the sort of middle aged chain smokers who produced most of these shows really had their pulse on the finger of what 14 year old weebs were into.

But that ones a bit of a stretch.

This is clearly an astro-turf production funded by the Trans-Global Petroleum Industry.

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Van-pires was the worst. For me it came on at 630 Sunday morning when I woke up but nothing else was on TV except for televised mass or other church things. But it was also too early to fire up the Nintendo because that would wake my parents.


the live action was a surprise.

I am speechless:


Amazing they were able to pack that much action into the producer’s mom’s basement.


I Googled Van-pires and stumbled onto Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills.
This is a rabbit hole to Hell.


Everything about this is amazingly bad. The concept, the ahem graphics, the cheery voice-over…

I wonder if it served any inspiration for (at least one episode) of Blood Drive. Which I like altogether too much.


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