"I'll just take a pull on this bottle of water to dispel all this talk of there being no drinking water. Can't believe these people actually drink from taps, so disgusting!"
"Now, let's get out in front of this, team! One, 4-methylcyclohexane methanol has meth in it twice! Is this West Virginia or not?
Two, state emergencies and federal declarations of emergencies are sure-fire job creators, JUST LIKE ME!
Three, KIDS, oh yeah!, schools out, you have FREEDOM industires to thank for that!
Four, is there anyone who Doesn't like Licorice that Shouldn't be killed?
No, no there isn't. Freedom Industries, protecting the bottled water industry for meth users by creating jobs for children using big tanks of spilled candy!" Vote for FREEDOM industries at your next government sponsored election cycle!