Chuck's safe


#1

Unlike Rob’s safe, Chuck’s safe WILL be opened. There is some time pressure, and there is little time to lose.

Rules: Pick a tool and tell us what to do with it.

Iff your suggestions are not dangerous to small animals, I may attempt to implement the suggestion, subject to Chuck’s approval. If I do, I will post a pic of the result(s). You will see what’s in the safe. There is something in there. We do not know what. Yet.

Note: Chuck doesn’t speak, but does type and wave his hands. We will work out a suitable GO / NO GO signal. You may ask him any question, Chuck may reply, and I will assiduously fact check. I’ve know him for a long time, and can detect his bullshit from a mile away.


Safecracking tools that are immdiately available:

I have more tools. I have power tools. I do not have an angle grinder. I will wear safety glasses. We might watch Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” video this evening. We have already consumed sufficient quantities of cannabis edibles (honey sticks), but the effects have not yet kicked in fully.


#2

Never before has the BBS felt so safe.


#3

Crowbar, used by the strongest person among you; self explanatory.

I’m jealous.


#4

Chuck’s already waving his hands and texts me:

I have seen the latch, it is primitive

He seems to think that the latch is centered above the lock and might be forced at that point. I expect the mechanism to be symmetric bars that slide into a mechanism at the edges of the drawer slide.

I do not believe this is the best course of action, and given that Chuck claims to have no idea what is in the safe, the veracity of his claim to have seen the mechanism is way up there on the bullshit scale.


#5

Please specify where to insert crowbar and in which direction to pry. It is not clear if I can get a purchase in the narrow gaps. A hammer might help, but I will need guidance.


#6

Soldering Iron.

Put a large line of solder around the lock and the draw. Whatever’s in there n̴̛̈́ͫ̃̂̐̌͐ͦ̀͜҉̺̪̙̱̤̤̘̭͓ͅe̾̏́̃͏͈̪̮̱̕ͅe̴͕̤͔̣͕̼̤̺ͧ͋ͮ̒͗ͥ͂ͦ͑̽̚͝͝d̺̮̳̞͉̞̮̦̝̪̭̰̭̫̭͖͎̔̈́ͫ̾̆ͫ̆ͤ̔͘͜͞͝ͅs̴̷̺̟͚̲̯̣͑͊̒̽̊̐͞ ̴̧̡̰͕̣̝͓͚̗̹͎͈͍̣̠̾͛̏ͥ̾̔ͥ͐̾͋ţ̵̢̗̰͖̮͔͍̺̹̲̥̠̪̉͋͋̾͜͜ơ̢̱̺̟͓̗͈̖̯͉ͫ͌ͣ̋̈̆̐̀͠ ̪̩͉̮̬̙͎̰͖͐́ͤͥͭ̂͑̉ͬ͒̅ͧ̋̑͑̄͢͝b̡̬̤̬̥͙̥͍͖͇̦̝̬̠̪̘̤̒͋̂̍̓͐ͣͣ͌̌̎͛͛̒̋̾̓̒̀̀ͅę̵͈̩̗̫̻̮͍͚̞͑̑̓̽ͯ̍͗ͧͬ̅͑ ̶̀ͧͦ̀̿̾҉̵͙̜͍̙̻̰̻̫̠͇́k̵̛͈̗͚̩̤̥̯̣̠̫͈̤͐ͭ̈͛ͮ̎̈́͗̆̋͌̄͐̔͒̋́̚͡ͅe̠͓͖̤̰̬̾ͮ̐ͦ͊̊͊̎̀͜p̴̵̸̶͚̩̬̜͓̬̝̮̜̱͕͍͇͙̑͌̍̈ͫ̅́ͬͅt̵̺̣͉͍͙̩̯͚ͥ̍͆̊̓ͬ̑̉ͧ̉ͨ̾ͭͩ͗ͥ̏̓̒̀͢͡͠ ̧̩̞̘̲̬̪̮̝͍̫͓̯͉̘̲̽͛̔̊͊͛̃ͥͧͤ̄̇͆̑͜ͅͅi̋ͯ̈́̀͛ͫ̏͊ͪ̚҉͍͓̙͉͔̹͎̖͍͚̝̭͎͕ͅn̢͐̾͆̏ͣ̿́͟͜҉̖͔͕̘͓ ̢̭̬̪͙͎͒ͦ̎͂ͣ̎͛͗͌ͧt̶̸̛̞̪̝̼̾ͦͪͭͪ̒͒͗ͧ̎͌́h̷̵̸̯̱͎͍͉̼̜͚́ͤͣͤ̃̉ͭ̇̓̒͘e̴̵̶̥̹̲̭͍͚͕̪͂͐͐ͥ͐͛̆̚͘ͅr̛̙̥̞͖̰̯̦̮̘͔̮͖̍ͩ̉ͯͭ̂̅̈̇ͩ̿͗̓̚̚̕e̢̨̥͙͚͇̟̖͙͖̤̩͉̟͚̼̮̬̠̅͋̓́̀͐̆̔ͣͦͧ̅̽ͭͤ̚͝.̓̂̆ͭ͛̑̃͏̸̛̤̩̯̲̤͚̘͉͙͡͡


#7

I did try getting a crowbar tip in the narrow gap above the lock. Use light tapping with one of the hammers.

Result: The lock tumbler fell out onto the floor!!

[Edit: The latch is still intact. Chuck tried using the triangular file in the tumbler casing, to turn the mechanism, but no effect.]


#8

As the Prostitute once said to the Virgin:

“Sugar, if you don’t know where to put it, I’m not sure there’s any hope for you.”


#9


#10


#11

##Chuck’s safe is open! Pics to follow. Pure nastolgic gold.

(The trick was to pull really hard.)


#12


#13

Darn, I didn’t even get to walk you through making chlorine trifluoride. Though in retrospect, that and edibles could be an…explosive combination.


#14

Estimated date of last light: 1990


#15

I was going to say, that looked a lot like an old filing cabinet I had, and I remember the latch was just a flat tongue that rotated 90º from horizontal to vertical to lock the cabinet.

But more power to you, tempting us with a locked safe and GETTING THE DAMNED THING OPEN in less than an hour. @beschizza, take note.


#16

I was just gonna say; this seems to be the exact opposite of Rob’s situation.

Of course to be fair, a filing cabinet is far easier to break into; but still…


#17


#18

A recent photo of the Mindset system described. That’s Chuck. Just a couple weeks ago we fired this baby up for the first time in ~30 years. MS-DOS 2.0 is a beautiful thing.


#19

We’re all looking for that sense of closure (opensure?).

Rob’s safe is like playing The Longest Day.

Chuck’s safe was the Rubik’s Cube solve we all needed (Rob’s not off the hook though).


#20

Is nastology the study of nastiness?

I don’t know Chuck, but I’m glad he’s safe :wink: