Colbert offers a real solution to our school shooting crisis: fewer guns

Originally published at: Colbert offers a real solution to our school shooting crisis: fewer guns | Boing Boing


It’s obvious, of course. But the gun fondlers invest so much of themselves in their totems that they’ll come up with a thousand slimy arguments to undermine the obvious.

The real solution, then, is to make sure none of the politicians who pander to the ammosexuals get into office. Since one duopoly party is more prone to encourage that than the other, we know what we have to do.


What if the people who owned guns all had to chip in and pay the ambulance costs, the ER costs, the follow-up mental health costs and funeral expenses everytime a shooting occurs in their state? The more guns and ammo capacity you own, the more your share of those costs. If you decide not to own a gun, you don’t have to pay those costs.

“BuT cRimiNAls dON’t CaRE abOuT GuN lAwS!!” scream the gun fetishists who willfully ignore the fact that the vast majority of mass shooters obtained their firearms legally.


We could also follow Chris Rock’s suggestion, by making each bullet cost $5000.



Basically require insurance on each gun the same way it is required on cars. Lack of insurance will lead to heavy fines and confiscation.

This is my response every time I hear the “cars kill more people than guns” argument. Sure, and cars are regulated out the wazoo. Licensed, insured, regulates, and enforced like no other aspect of a person’s life.

I’d love to see that happen with firearms.


We just need to do what Australia did after Port Arthur. We should have decades ago.

I’m a gun owner and I like to think a responsible one (1 shotgun, unloaded, in a gun safe to which only I know the combination). But I would be first in line to give up my gun for Australia’s approach. And - it works!


Australia Enjoys Another Peaceful Day Under Oppressive Gun Control Regime

Due to the nation’s controversial and oppressive gun restrictions, no one has died as a result of a mass-shooting from an automatic or semi-automatic weapon on Australian soil today, for the 9,523rd day in a row.


There’s a very simple set of equations that show the solution and why it won’t work:

Less guns = less people shot

Less guns = less profit for arms manufacturers

Less profit for arms manufacturers = less donations to politicians.


Guns are now the largest cause of death for children in the USA having recently overtaken those from motor vehicles.


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