Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/02/05/rip-poor-mountain-lion.html
The runner wrestled with a juvenile lion estimated to weigh 80 pounds before suffocating it to death in a park west of Fort Collins.
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If I was that runner, Iād sure as hell want that cats skull for my desk.
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Umā¦ damn.
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āHold small children in your arms, if you have a youngster with youā¦ā
āā¦wave your arms and throw stones or whatever you can reachā¦ā
Not sure Iām comfortable with where this is going.
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Encountered 3 mountain lions at a distance in Oklahoma. Daughter shot this grainy portrait-mode video about the time I said āHoly-sh**!ā and they started running. Crazy thing is that the kids were debating taking a walk down to the Cimarron about 20 minutes before this. They would have been at the riverās edge chucking rocks in the water, totally distracted while the cats were strolling in for their evening drink.
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If you find yourself too close to a mountain lion, CPW suggests you back slowly away if you can do so safely. Raise your arms and open your jacket if you have one. Hold small children in your arms, if you have a youngster with you. Speak calmly to the lion in a firm tone of voice.
But what to say?
āOkay mountain lion. I donāt like you, and you donāt like meā¦ but I have this child. Perhaps we can work something out.ā
Be sure to cover the childās ears first, or you may end up getting quite the kicking. And that wonāt impress the lion at all.
In the unlikely event of a cougar attack, fight back with whatever you have on hand and try to stay upright.
āDonāt make me beat you with this child! Heās smart enough for his age, but heās not that sharp!ā
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01 seconds: a Cat is at center of screen running to the left.
07 seconds: Girl says the phase āall over thereā. Upon the word āthereā one cat enters from the left side of the screen and disappears behind the cottonwood.
08 seconds ā 11 seconds: A second cat emerges from behind that same cottonwood heading towards the tree-line by the Cimarron.
12 seconds: the camera pans back to the left and captures the cat seen at the beginning of the video, now running between the two cottonwoods.
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Iāma just leave this hereā¦
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Thereās more than one way to choke a cat.
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If the animal is small enough to cover with your thumb, youāre at a safe distance.
Uhh, I need more instruction before thatās a useful tip. Arm fully outstretched? If I hold my thumb right in front of my eye, it tends to block out pretty much any animal.
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Thatās hard core!
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I find this useful advice in many circumstances.
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This is just like that BS nuclear fireball ārule of thumbā.
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This is something Chris Traeger (Rob Loweās character from Parks and Rec) would be forced to do and then feel horrible about.
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There are easier ways to deal with cats:
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Ohh, Weāve already gone there.
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And/or sploosh.
Put each thumb on each eyeā¦
ā¦ youāll be fine.
Killing a mountain lion with your hands is bad luck. The curse is that man now has a story that no one will believe for years.
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