Colorado runner chokes 80-pound mountain lion to death

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/02/05/rip-poor-mountain-lion.html

The runner wrestled with a juvenile lion estimated to weigh 80 pounds before suffocating it to death in a park west of Fort Collins.

5 Likes

If I was that runner, Iā€™d sure as hell want that cats skull for my desk.

14 Likes

chzbgr

24 Likes

Umā€¦ damn.

20 Likes

ā€œHold small children in your arms, if you have a youngster with youā€¦ā€

ā€œā€¦wave your arms and throw stones or whatever you can reachā€¦ā€

Not sure Iā€™m comfortable with where this is going.

48 Likes

Encountered 3 mountain lions at a distance in Oklahoma. Daughter shot this grainy portrait-mode video about the time I said ā€œHoly-sh**!ā€ and they started running. Crazy thing is that the kids were debating taking a walk down to the Cimarron about 20 minutes before this. They would have been at the riverā€™s edge chucking rocks in the water, totally distracted while the cats were strolling in for their evening drink.

9 Likes

If you find yourself too close to a mountain lion, CPW suggests you back slowly away if you can do so safely. Raise your arms and open your jacket if you have one. Hold small children in your arms, if you have a youngster with you. Speak calmly to the lion in a firm tone of voice.

But what to say?

ā€œOkay mountain lion. I donā€™t like you, and you donā€™t like meā€¦ but I have this child. Perhaps we can work something out.ā€

Be sure to cover the childā€™s ears first, or you may end up getting quite the kicking. And that wonā€™t impress the lion at all.

In the unlikely event of a cougar attack, fight back with whatever you have on hand and try to stay upright.

ā€œDonā€™t make me beat you with this child! Heā€™s smart enough for his age, but heā€™s not that sharp!ā€

20 Likes

01 seconds: a Cat is at center of screen running to the left.
07 seconds: Girl says the phase ā€œall over thereā€. Upon the word ā€œthereā€ one cat enters from the left side of the screen and disappears behind the cottonwood.
08 seconds ā€“ 11 seconds: A second cat emerges from behind that same cottonwood heading towards the tree-line by the Cimarron.
12 seconds: the camera pans back to the left and captures the cat seen at the beginning of the video, now running between the two cottonwoods.

1 Like

Iā€™ma just leave this hereā€¦

3 Likes

Thereā€™s more than one way to choke a cat.

6 Likes

If the animal is small enough to cover with your thumb, youā€™re at a safe distance.

Uhh, I need more instruction before thatā€™s a useful tip. Arm fully outstretched? If I hold my thumb right in front of my eye, it tends to block out pretty much any animal.

12 Likes

Thatā€™s hard core!

2 Likes

I find this useful advice in many circumstances.

19 Likes

This is just like that BS nuclear fireball ā€˜rule of thumbā€™.

3 Likes

This is something Chris Traeger (Rob Loweā€™s character from Parks and Rec) would be forced to do and then feel horrible about.

2 Likes

There are easier ways to deal with cats:

10 Likes

Ohh, Weā€™ve already gone there.
3242740400_8122a35457_b-2

34 Likes

And/or sploosh.

Put each thumb on each eyeā€¦

ā€¦ youā€™ll be fine.

Killing a mountain lion with your hands is bad luck. The curse is that man now has a story that no one will believe for years.

18 Likes