Computer game names "almost universally terrible"


#1

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#2

Do you really want to be taking advice on names from a “Dr. Farts”?


#3

Indeed you do. According to the article, his middle name is “Eaton.”


#4

Well, the entire thing would be way more convincing if there was any indication that bad names correlate with poor sales. Whereas, being named “Stephen Eaton Farts” almost certainly correlates with a difficult childhood.


#5

I don’t understand why this guy is right, or why this article matters. I guess it’s clever.


#6

In all fairness “Assassin Heroes Warhammer: Craft World War” is pretty clearly an effort to hack a crummy third party game into search results when a person looks for reputable games.

Really it’s quite the feat of labeling shenanigans. They successfully managed to jam aspects of all of these titles into the title of their crappy game:

-Assassin’s Creed
-Heroes of Newerth
-Warhammer
-Starcraft / Warcraft / Minecraft
-World of Warfcraft

I think they could have fit more in. Maybe: "Assassin’s Craft: A Heroes Call of Duty Modern Warhammer: "


#8

You do realize this title is satire, not a real game?


#9

My all-time fave is Alien8.

It was phenomenal in its time. Sinclair Spectrum, c.1984, nice 3d graphics.

Had nothing to do with alienation as I recall. Just looked cool.


#10

I did not.

I’ve seen many titles in the iOS app store which are clearly meant to confuse someone looking for a different title into purchasing.

Call my cynical, but I didn’t realize it was parody.


#11

The most ham-fisted movie titles usually seem to be big-budget fantasy or sci-fi franchises.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

The Hobbit: There and Back Again

Transformers: The Dark Side of the Moon

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace


#12

I believe this was the highest grossing second part of a sixth sequel of all time.


#13

No.


#14

I believe the title was also a play on the movie series. Here’s the story – the aliens are there, though you’d never tell that a clockwork mouse or a Prince-Charles-headed Dalek is “an alien” in the conventional sense.


#15

[quote=“Brainspore, post:11, topic:37608”]The Hobbit: There and Back Again[/quote]Did you not get the memo?

Director Peter Jackson has changed the title of the final film in his
Hobbit trilogy from There and Back Again to The Battle of the Five
Armies.


#16

Do you ever think we’ll run out of hip, cool and otherwise lexically searchable name space?

I think every dev needs to be aware that the next evolution of game names will come from urbandictionary:

My next game shall be:
[Cringe Attack][1]

I’ll let you guys fill in the details.
[1]: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cringe%20attack&defid=7838163


#17

You do realize this title is a real game, and not satire?

[UPDATE: oh man scoopeded, above. That’s what I get for starting a post then going to a meeting. A POX ON ALL MEETINGS]

[UPDATE2: oh man I’m replying to @Boundegar by using a modified version of his own words, for the 2nd time in two days (< 24 hours). He is SO gonna kill me.]

 

What's New in Version 1.2

Performance Enhancement and Updated Internal Code Structure

 

 

The company also provides such fine entertainment products as

  • A Plague Monster: Penguin Monsters Attack
  • Aeroplane Flying: Flight Test & Parking Simulator HD, Free Game
  • Alien Invasion: Lost In Space HD, Free Game
  • Alien Spaceship: Planet Flying HD, Free Game
  • Ants Valley: Ultimate Ant
  • Awesome Surfing Dudes: Big Wave Extreme Surfboard Sports HD, Free
  • GameCop Vs Hitman: Wayward Souls Cops
  • Cops City: Night Time Crime HD, Free Game
  • Cute Tooth Fairy: Mount Of Fairies
  • Dirt Bike: Mountain Bicycle Rally
  • Dragons Soccer Goalie: Goalkeeper Save HD, Free Game
  • Dream Soccer Football: Real Fun Super League 14 HD, Free Game
  • Eat The Balls: Ghost Land
  • Fire Archer: Sharp Heads Archery
  • Flappy Match Gems 2014: A Game About Connecting Between Dots
  • Full Racing Cars: Smash Car, Full Game
  • Ganster Knuckles Hit: Boom Earthquake
  • Golf Mini World A Flick Tour: Driving Range Woods HD, Free App Game
  • Granny Box-Stacker: The Puzzle HD, Free Game
  • Gun Cars: Thunder Wars HD, Free Game
  • In The Jungle Groove: Survival Place, Full Game
  • Jump Up Stickman: Stikman Trials
  • Lightsaber Smash Hood: Cyan Minecraft Simulator
  • Princess Boom Pet Kittens: Heads Up Pets Free Fall
  • Princess Escape: Fashion Kingdom HD, Free Game
  • Princess Heads Calling Up Resort: Little Kids Fashion Mila Salon Boom
  • Swamp Offroad Truck: Hitman Monster Frontier
  • Tactics Of Tanks Control: Tank Vehicle, Full Game
  • The Great Plumber: Repair Price
  • Tower Smash: Magic Touch HD, Free Game
  • Unpossible Car Parking: Cars Bombing Race
  • Unpossible Dog Attack: Go Up

Believe it or not, this is an EDITED list…

So many of these are boringly prosaic (Dirt Bike: Mountain Bicycle Rally), some are SEO word-stacks (Dream Soccer Football: Real Fun Super League 14 HD, Free Game), and some are bizarro evocative:

- A Plague Monster: Penguin Monsters Attack
 - Eat The Balls: Ghost Land
 - Lightsaber Smash Hood: Cyan Minecraft Simulator
 - Swamp Offroad Truck: Hitman Monster Frontier
 - The Great Plumber: Repair Price
 - Unpossible Dog Attack: Go Up

Myself, I’m looking forward to Lightsaber Smash Hood: Cyan Minecraft Simulator vs Swamp Offroad Truck: Hitman Monster Frontier - Magic Combat Fashion Boom Game Free Fall 2


#18

[quote=“Boundegar, post:5, topic:37608, full:true”]I guess it’s clever.
[/quote]

No, not really.

I mean, it’s right in that video game names are about as generic and uninspiring as the ideas behind the games they’re attached to, but the article isn’t particularly clever.

(And, to address a suggestion it made: “Does anyone not think Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning would have sold better had it not had such a shitty name?” No, it wouldn’t have; it was a frankly uninspiring game.)


#19

I’m so happy to be wrong. That’s insane!


#20

Amalur was close to being good – I enjoyed it for a while before I kind of got bored with it.

My favorite part of this article though was learning that “Divine Divinity” was inflicted on the game’s creators by the publisher at the last minute.


#21

Alien8 had mouse daleks. It was Head over Heels that had the Prince Charles daleks.

Both were good isometric games at the time.