Originally published at: Conkers champ accused after steel conker found in pocket
…
5 Likes
I couldn’t find any articles that had an actual image of the steel chestnut in question. If it was painted or enameled to look like a real chestnut, then yes, that’s pretty suspect. If it looked like it was made of steel… I mean, that seems like that would have been extremely obvious what with it being not-brown and metallic looking, right?
The English seem to have an inexhaustible supply of deeply odd regional sports that don’t exist most anywhere else. Can’t say that this one holds a candle to Ferret Legging, though.
15 Likes
I’ve always understood ‘horse chestnuts’ as referring to what they leave behind during parades and such. I had no idea they were actually chestnuts.
TIL, etc.
15 Likes
Just thinking about how much it would cost to fabricate a convincing metal conker, and apparently it was worth at least that much for this guy to win this stupid game through cheating. (Given how pointless it all is, I would have thought that cheating would be totally self-defeating, but…) I guess that should make me feel better about the stupid things I invest too much energy into, but it doesn’t, really…
2 Likes
They’re similar to human edible chestnuts, but a bit larger, and they make medicine for horses from the fruit, and you can make soap from the leaves…
7 Likes
He looks EXACTLY like I imagined he would.
8 Likes
It’s such a high stakes game that I can totally understand why someone would do it.
6 Likes
The school of hard knocks that is competitive Conkering is nothing compared to the bone deep skulduggery of competitive Marrow Growing.
14 Likes
“he was searched by organisers after his victory”
Is this standard operating procedure at these events?
10 Likes
7 Likes
After the winner has completed their drug and sex tests, yes.
Edit to add on L of a letter.
5 Likes
There are other ways to gain an advantage. From Wikipedia:
“The hardest conkers usually win. Hardening conkers is often done by keeping them for a year (aged conkers are called laggies in many areas or seasoners in Ireland and Liverpool), baking them briefly, soaking or boiling in vinegar, or painting with clear nail varnish. Such hardening is, however, usually regarded as cheating.”
Hence the expression, “He stoops to conker”.
15 Likes
I think I’ll stick to something safer like competetive cheese rolling
11 Likes
Me and a friend drill and rope a bucket of conkers every year for the pub competition.
Winner gets their name on a handmade trophy and a bottle of scotch.
It’s one of the busiest days of the year.
Over time, “reasonable cheating”, whatever that may mean, has been tolerated.
The line was drawn over the competitor who injected wood-hardener (wood-glue?) into his conker, but it’s not unusual to see the local builder’s and painter’s vans around here with a dashboard full of conkers! The older and more sun-wizened the better, apparently.
Anyway, I believe the fellow in the OP, who claimed he carried it for a joke. You’d spot a metal conker a mile off, especially when you whacked it with your own regular model.
“Clang? Wot kinda conker goes Clang?”
12 Likes
That requirement was removed in 2015. Now anyone can compete.if they have the nuts.
18 Likes
Knowing zip about conking, I initially imagined it as an equinal version of cow patties. Then I wondered, ‘Wouldn’t both horse chestnuts shatter upon mutual impact?’ then, ‘How could that ever be a game?’
6 Likes
You’re overthinking it perhaps?
3 Likes
(the school tie is not optional)
9 Likes
Perhaps for the ~3 seconds of “cow patty-like” 
“likely explosive interaction” “that’s a fucking game?” train of thought, yes.
5 Likes
I favor
only 27 miles from the cheese rolling hill.
11 Likes
