Corpse under motel bed for 5 years


Judging by the other stories on that site, I’d guess it’s parody.


This story is fake, though there are some historical truths/precedents behind it…


Errr… yeah. You know how we make fun of all those other sites and politicians and what-not when they mistakenly thing The Onion is a real news source?


Solution: futons. No room for corpses under a futon.

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Empire News is a satirical and entertainment website. We only use invented names in all our stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental

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I know, I have to keep stuffing them inside the futons themselves.

Total pain.

So thats why they get so lumpy…

Yes, but, attempting to sleep on a futon is like dying and going to hell.

empire is a satire site.

Febreze ad or what?!?

First clue that should have tipped one off that it was a fake article is that it didn’t take place in Florida. Had it been a FL motel, I would have fell for it hook, line, and sinker…


Yeah, my first clue was the linked article about the Coke recall. My very first thoughts on that are “wait, soda bottling does not work that way!” which prompted me to look further into this site.

Beyond that alarms were ringing because, unless the climate was exceedingly dry (so not the case in Joisey) there’s no way “a little extra febreeze” would take care of the smell of a rotting body.

The difference, of course, is that The Onion is (usually) making some attempt at humour, or actual satire. Neither of which seems to be present in this article.


Oh man, that is brilliant.

I wish the headlines cited actually used “Florida Man,” but I guess that’s pretty uncommon outside the Onion.

You have to drag the body into the tub, with the towels that you want washed. They’re not going to take it away, otherwise.

Room for body parts though.

This story may need more Febreeze.

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