Granted: Now your Habanero plant tells you that it doesn’t mind when the weather is chilly, as long as the blood is warm.
I wish my car window was not broken, and the MOT was not due
4 Likes
Time has begun flowing backwards. Watching your car window fly back into one piece was pretty cool. Also, the MOT now pays you.
Going to the bathroom has become somewhat disconcerting.
Over (negative) time, you become increasingly aware that if time does not soon resume its normal course, your demise will be a visceral, freudian bit of body horror, mitigated only by the fact that you will have lost the ability to anticipate it years before it happens
I wish I were asleep instead of drinking coffee and fixing the crappy code I wrote months ago
3 Likes
Granted. Your code is never fixed and instead is picked up and used by major governments across the world to keep their systems running. Unfortunately, as previously mentioned, your code was never fixed. One day all hell breaks loose, water mains explode, traffic lights cause wrecks, HVAC units start venting freon into the atmosphere. The Earth becomes a disastrous ruin unfit for human habitation.
But hey, at least you can sleep well.
I wish I had some banana bread.
2 Likes
On a side note:
I must admit, my inspiration was somewhat less literary
1 Like
Granted: you have banana bread. But in keeping with the local rules, you can’t eat it, you just look at it.
I wish the speed of light equalled the speed of sound.
3 Likes
1 Like
Hey, presto, it is done!
Unfortunately, hypersonic volcanic ejecta has gone back in time and extincted the mammals. On the plus side, the hypersonic meteor that should have extincted the dinosaurs ended up becoming the liquid iron core of our planet, and as a pleasant side effect provided some seeds for life.
I wish the bloody dinosaurs would stop ruining the economy!
Poof! Half of the Supreme Court and Congress, Bernanke, Paulson, etc. are all raptured downwards in an instant. Now Paul Krugman runs things and our economy is finally getting back to a state of equilibrium. Reasonable laws get passed, women actually become equal members of society…
oh, wait…damn…this is supposed to backfire in some way, right? Nope, can’t do it. I’m liking this dream way too much to turn it into a nightmare.
I wish the above actually happened. (Time for someone more cynical than me to do it justice!)
quasi-granted.
I wish there were new Calvin & Hobbes cartoons.
It has also been speculated that the lead in Frazz is the grown-up Calvin. That’s a nice universe. Although I’m a bit sad he doesn’t get paid more (high-school janitor). Also wonder what life-choices led him there, or if there was a tragic, furious break-down in college…
Granted, enjoy your miss Doubtfire tattoo, it sure looks classy:
I wish for Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows
This doesn’t seem corrupted enough, but granted:
I wish for Tim Hudak to lose the Ontario provincial election badly for being such an epic shithead.
2 Likes
Granted: He loses so badly, he wins!
I wish I could play guitar
Granted. But you can only play 1 song. Take your pick.
1 Like
Not to be picky, but there’s no pick in that video.
3 Likes
You are correct. I did say, “take your pick.” Some people just can’t follow directions. Very well then: You can only play 1/2 of a song.
