Crack pipe vending machines

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Ceci n’est pas une pipe.

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I have a similar project in mind for providing delusional psychotics with bluetooth earpieces so people think they are engaged in conversation and not just walking down the street muttering.

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A lot of convenience stores beat them to the idea (albeit in a low-concept way) 15+ years ago:

This will also keep them from breaking the spark plugs off my motorcycle engine. Smoke all the crack you want, but do not break the top off the spark plugs in my motorcycle engine. I understand that the porcelain bit of the top of the spark plug is ideal for a crack pipe, but do not break the top off the spark plugs in my motorcycle engine in order to smoke crack with it.

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OMG. was that your motorcycle? I am so sorry. I had to break a car window, and National Geographic suggested using a spark plug. Won’t happen again. Well, unless i get locked out again. hahaha. am i right?

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I am perhaps inelegantly referencing this fantastic Bit of Fry and Laurie.

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EDIT - You beat me to it. I knew just what you were talking about!

Vancouver BC has these. http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/vancouver-home-to-canada-s-first-crackpipe-vending-machines-1.1677066

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