I need a Thneed to knead.
The problem with things like that is that it makes me want to get 500 pounds for myself, not a few ounces. And I can’t afford 500 pounds of UV-reactive putty.
I’m sure it’s a neat little blob of goo, but I’ve just been spoiled by the possibility of massive blobs of goo. I have the same problem at home decor places: it turns out the little vase I bought looks pretty sad and tacky when there’s just one of it. What I really wanted, I belatedly realize, was a giant pyramid of little vases like they had at the store.
Kneeded Gum
"Kneeded Gum" is a thick, gelatinous substance found only in the spermaceti organ of the Sperm Whale. Whenever the whale needs an extra burst of speed when chasing prey, the mammal will release up to ten gallons of the viscous liquid from pores near it's eyes so as to create an area of higher density water near its body, which then allows the whale to achieve higher swimming speeds over short distances.
“Everyone needs a thneed.”
You know, this could well be true - but when the URL includes an affiliate tracking code that you don’t mention I become doubtful. You forgot to include it on the link to the putty itself though! Doh! Better luck next time… Michael… Boris?
This stuff is indeed amazing, but there is one thing that’s important to know beforehand, the putty is magnetic, which they achieve by putting microscopic flecks of ferrous material inside the putty itself which can sometimes come out of the putty onto your hands. I got one in my eye once, and I know from Amazon reviews I am not the only person this has happened to, and trust me, it hurts. Just bear that in mind, because overall this stuff is so much fun to play with and a great toy all around.
Obligatory XKCD:
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