People are talking about tortoises in the desert, but that tortoise was an illegal immigrant! What was he doing in an American desert? He’s probably a Muslim tortoise, an ISIS sympathiser. I don’t know, that’s what people are saying!
My kids know better than to help a godless Muslim tortoise. God helps those who help themselves, isn’t that what the Bible said? Well I’ve always helped myself, and so can you. That’s right. Build a wall and there will be no more tortoises upside down in the desert. We’re helping the tortoises. Let them pay for the wall.
You’re reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your husband. He likes it so much, he hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girl is lying on a bearskin rug. She’s your stepmother.
