"Critical Failure" D20s, whispering what's in every roller's heart


Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/10/10/anglo-saxon-monosyllable.html



So… (a) fuck is the best possible outcome, right?
Besides (many) fucks.


Futurama Gary Gygax says:


I imagine that this wouldn’t be possible without some use of enchantment and knowledge of divination and illusion (or a giant pile of personal data, an expert system, and IoT dice; more or less the mundane equivalent); but I must admit that the evocative “whispering what’s in every roller’s heart” had me imagining dice that would show alarmingly insightful text snippets from the user’s own darkest, most shameful, areas and episodes of failure on rolling a natural 1. Just a short sentence or so; but one that you immediately recognize from the thoughts that won’t be silent on uncomfortable sleepless nights; the humiliations you only fully recognize in retrospect, the guilt of transgressions unforgiven; that sort of thing.

Really sophisticated models might even be able to tilt the topic in the direction of the sort of skill check the die is being used for and against the alignment of the character making the check.


This is great but i feel like the Nat 20 roll should also come with something. Ideally a Fuck Yeah but something else could work too



spare chars


Additional question: Is this die properly balanced? It’s metal so checking the balance would not be as easy unless you used a dense liquid where the metal die could float in (unless there’s another way of checking besides doing a ton of rolls and recording the outcomes)


You can use the same method as ordinary dice: mount two opposite corners on freely-rotating pins, then give it a spin. If it’s balanced around that axis of rotation, it will slow down and eventually come smoothly to a stop. If it’s not balanced, the excess weight causes to act like a pendulum, so that it will spin unevenly and eventually swing back and forth as it settles.


It’s calibrated to our (dumbest, darkest) timeline, so it always comes up “Fuck!”


Sadly, there just wasn’t room for the true exclamation of “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck”.



Can somebody help me out here? Can’t remember which comedy troupe did this. SNL? Upright Citizen’s Brigade? The State? Kids in the Hall?

ETA: Wait, maybe it was a commercial…


I feel that 10 should be replaced with meh


You’ll need a different version of those if you’re playing Das Schwarze Auge


House Rule: Roll a second d20 to see how many U’s long your “FUCK” is.


In systems with percentile dice, rolling a FUCK FUCK means that you really fucked someone up.


Maybe use a d10 to see how short you’ve come up on the number of fucks you need to not give…


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