Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/12/dad-tricks-his-toddlers-to-sto.html
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So the one weird trick is for Daddy to cry too? Dang, well, drinking wasn’t really working… oh and take turns.
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In my experience, children are more than noise machines to be turned on and off on a whim. This little girl is affected by something enough to make her upset. Maybe a more effective “parenting hack” would be to actually listen to her and help her resolve the issue that is causing her distress.
Instead, this dad chose to model behavior that says his girl needs to modulate her emotions at the convenience of others. He is probably not trying to sabotage his daughters’ emotional development on purpose, but if he wanted to, this would be one way to go about it.
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I’m not a parent and I strongly suspect you aren’t either.
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Where are the clicks in that?
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I am a parent. My post urging empathy for children sort of gives it away.
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I am. While children are often upset about things that seem trivial to adults, this does seem like an odd way to deal with it. The adult alternates between silencing the child and mocking her, while trying to drag the other daughter into his mockery. At no point does he actually seem to care about how she feels. He achieves his aim of tricking her into stopping crying (to make himself feel better) but he doesn’t address her feelings at all.
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I’m not a parent but I have friends who are. One half of one couple has to work late one night a week. On those nights I sometimes go hang out with the other half and their kids. We crack a couple IPAs and catch up (we call it beer babysitting*). One time, the older of the two kids (they were both a few years older than the kids in the video) came up to us crying about something the younger sibling did. My pal’s from-the-hip response was “That’s a kid problem. You guys work it out.” She got a confused look on her face, but then went back to her brother and figured out a solution. I thought that was pretty clever parenting that came out of a similar desire: A parent not wanting to deal with an issue that would be forgotten shortly after. And in that case, rather than diverting the kid away from the problem, it empowered the kid to do something about it.
*We’re both well aware that a parent can’t babysit their own children, we just liked the term for its alliteration. Don’t@me.
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This comment will make the perfect text for a future Father’s Day card.
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This “parenting hack” is exactly how to keep psychiatrists and psychologists flush and employed.
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Yes, it actually sounded like the older girl was going to start crying again at the end, after the hand slap.
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I miss Mom too, cuz Dad is kind of a sarcastic jerk.
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Plenty good trick.
My youngest daughter used to throw crying tantrums (tantra?) like this, with brief pauses to open her eyes and look around to see if there was still an audience present to appreciate her act.
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I’m a parent of three kids, two of whom are now grown men, fully in touch with their feelings and with a strong moral core. I couldn’t agree more with this. Give the kids a damn hug already. They don’t cry to annoy you. They cry because they have emotional needs. Understand them and address those needs, rather than deflecting. In this case, they’re clearly anxious because mum is away. They need reassurance she’s coming back, not stupid weird tricks.
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As an atheist I don’t really use the word, but: AMEN to that.
My daughters are both younger than the girls in the video and seeing this video made me sad and angry.
I have situations like this everyday and while a “classic parenting technique” is to derail some situations by offering alternatives before the escalate, you still need to show basic empathy for what is going on in your probably emotional overpowered kid’s mind.
What’s next in this persons parenting hack-book? Gaslighting?
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…and has left them with a coldhearted bastard who doesn’t give a damn. No wonder they’re crying. The more I think about this the more damaging I think this is. The kids will grow up understanding that should not share their emotions with their father because he’ll ridicule them. And then one day, they’ll discover this video on the internet and get angry all over again at the way he exploited them as children for his own neediness on social media (“Ha ha, aren’t I clever? I can pull one over on toddlers!”).
It’s never appropriate to violate your kids privacy by posting videos of them on social media without their informed consent. Especially videos that exploit their vulnerabilities. @frauenfelder: I’ve flagged the OP as a violation of BB’s community guidelines. Because if there isn’t a guideline against this, there ought to be.
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Aw man. That is way too young a face to see that expression of “I’m still upset but no one will listen to me” on.
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I have kids that are a bit older than these, 7 and 9, and sometimes when they cry I need them to calm down and tell me what’s wrong, because they are old enough to do that. Are you hurt? Did your sibling do something mean? Are you hungry? Did something you are making get ruined? No answer because of all the crying. So, we are working on breathing to get them clam enough to express what they are upset about so we (mostly they) can work out a solution. Being able to clam yourself down when upset is a good skill. But not at the age of the kids in this video. They are too young. Sometimes my kids just need a hug to calm down. I think these kids could benefit from that. Sometimes they just need time to let it out (especially the 9 yo who is starting to have hormones thrown into the mix).
If you want a good parent hack I’ll give you one; start sweeping and tell them they can’t use the broom. Soon enough they will be fighting over the broom. Whatever you do don’t bring out the second broom so they can both have turns. That kills the brooms allure.
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I already have a low opinion of parents who feel the need to plaster the internet with videos of their small children in every intimate moment possible.
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I wouldn’t be so sure this toddler actually has an issue worth getting distressed over. They will completely lose their shit if you serve them juice from a cup that isn’t their preferred color.
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