Proven techniques to stop a toddler from crying

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Also, birth control.

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We have new neighbors who are Burmese refugees. They’re quite a large family. There is one infant in the household, and occasionally she gets a little upset. When she starts crying, a family member will start singing to her. Slowly, gradually, she’ll calm down. If she starts up again, everyone in the house picks up the melody where that family member left off. A whole house full of people singing to quiet a crying baby. And that almost always works.

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Dear lord, this guy is some kind of genius baby whisperer.

You know, it’s not necessary to have this type of comment on every. single. post. that includes a child. We GET IT. Everyone understands: you don’t want children. Who cares? How are you contributing in any way to the discussion on the post? Comments like these are tedious and uninteresting. Don’t like children? Than don’t click on a post that clearly is about children. I don’t like Batman, but I don’t feel the need to click on posts that are about Batman with comments like “I don’t like Batman, and have no intention of seeing the current film.” Why? Because it contributes nothing, and no one gives a shit.

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You don’t like Batman? What kind of monster are you?

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I just can’t bring myself to care about angst-y rich white guys. Also, he’s Ben Affleck now, so . . . .

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I think it’s the same spell from Ella Enchanted.

If only we had a time machine you could go back and recommend this one to Batman.

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Looks like TL/DR Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, i.e. do something else/think about something else.

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…Robin will be played by Matt Damon…

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As I’m sure many parents will recognize, this trick works because what we’re witnessing is a whole lot of phony crying, basically some minor toddler drama.

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I think you might be taking his post more seriously than I did – I didn’t read it as “children are stupid!” but as a quick joke about avoiding crying children. I wasn’t offended.

Sometimes I am outraged at the level of outrage here on BBS. It’s tiring. Can we take a chill pill?

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Oh, that is SO getting used next time the resident toddler starts crying.

I’m outraged by your outrage about outrage. Show a little tolerance, please!

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Meh. I give that child’s crying a two out of ten at best. Let’s see what kind of answer the cow question gets from a good, solid level eight or nine cry. Proper, bright purple, totally encased in snot child, writhing in fury, with only the back of their head and their heels in contact with the floor…

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I don’t think he was showing outrage.

As the father of a 2.5 year old, I can affirm that this method (usually) works. Depends a lot on the nature of the child’s grievance and also on the child. For example, my sister, as a toddler, was completely capable of focussing her outrage and maintaining it for what seemed an eternity. Me on the other hand, just had to be shown a neat leaf, or bug, or pretty much anything.

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Yeah, except this “quick joke,” which isn’t funny to any extent, shows up on literally every single damn post about a child. I’m not offended by anything other than the spread of this type of internet commenter. Comments like these are overdone here on BoingBoing, and banal.

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