Denim maintenance thread

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2014/10/24/denim-maintenance-thread.html

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Next fad: pre-unwashed jeans.

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What’s wrong with the washing machine? Works for me.

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Also known as, “jeans for audiophiles.”

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Bacteriophiles!

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I found that this cleaning spray has improved the signal characteristics of my HDMI feeds throughout my system. Never have I seen such crisp whites and blacks or rich colors. Cleaning using ordinary soap and water has often been a disappointment, I could often see a noticeable negative shift in signal quality. For years I have been torn between washing my cables or just leaving them alone. Now I can have my cake and eat it too!

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“Raw demin” is more properly referred to as “paleo-wash”.

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I was going to post a humorous comment to this effect, but it turns out that one of the Six Signs You Should Wash Your Jeans actually is “you shat in them.”

Is anyone really wearing beshitted $300 selvedge out of the belief you’re never supposed to launder it under any circumstances? I guess if you’re crazy enough to drop three bills on jeans in the first place…

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Ah, finally, a fecal transplant for artisan denim! Now I can sterilize raw, organic, non-GMO jeans with irradiation and re-colonize them. I’m hoping for a culture from Jenifer Garner’s jeans, but Hugh Jackman’s would be good, too.

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The best jeans ever were Geordie Jeans. Fact.

Ooo, never thought of that – I’ll see if some of my Medical Physics friends can spare some beam time in order to start a little side business: Touch Free Cold Pasteurized Raw Denim Cleaners.

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I’ve never understood the fascination with jeans. Up until a few years ago I never owned a pair, and now the only pairs I do own are for work. But I have relatively large thighs and find most jeans tight and restricting. And besides the whole pocket layout is like ass, I mean carpenter jeans fix that but they are always stupidly baggy (even on me). The best for me so far are the cheap Levis Denizen ones at Target. They hold up to a good year of crawling up and down machines, getting covered in dirt/grease/oil, having tools shoved in the back pockets, and for $20 that’s a good value in my book.

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This is known as the Nugent Clause.

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No worries – I’m prepared:

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nonsequitur
Keep your Nugent Claws off me, you damn dirty ape!
/nonsequitur

want
 

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Jeans can break if they are too dirty?? OOOoooh.

I’m desperately trying not to break into Cranky Old Fart mode here, but the degree to which people will go to get a perfect fade… OK, it’s just not for me, I’ve never really wanted to put that much time and effort into my clothes. Besides, the hipsters will probably just rediscover Dockers in another decade or so, although they’ll probably overthink that, too, and obsess over the perfect shade of khaki (should I rinse it in tea? What kind of tea? Is decaf OK?) and end up buying boutique brands that cost several times what I’d be willing to pay for a pair of pants.

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That right there is the original fascination with jeans.

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“Firehose canvas” pants are pricey, but they don’t cost $300 US. And the more you wash them, the comfier they get.