Device converts dog brain waves to human speech




Damn, that’s all a man would need. Wife nagging, kids pestering, boss demanding, neighbours gossiping and now Rover talking back



“Get this fucking thing off my head”


Obligatory Larson:




“This is splendid!” “Leave me alone.” “I am so very weary.” “Who are you?” “Em, why are you guys leaving?” “Is that really you?” “Night-time!” “He must be a very nice animal.”

I don’t need a device to know when my dog is expressing these ideas, she can communicate those without using human language easily. what I need is a thing that tells me “I need to pee” versus “I want to check out what’s happening outside” when she sits by the door and stares at me. that’s really it.


Yes. 'I need to pee and if you don’t take me out right now I will soil your floor" as opposed to “Get up because I want to go outside and sniff things and not pee” would be very useful.


YES. Build something that lets the dog say “I think I’ll find myself a spot to soil”, and they’ll be rich.


I really expected this:


My dogs do a pretty good job of communicating with me already, thanks. What I’d really like is something that would allow for the early detection of possibly cancerous tumors.

I say this having been through the heartbreaking experience of one of my dogs seeming fine Sunday morning before having a seizure in the early afternoon when a tumor inside her ruptured. An excruciating rollercoaster of brief recoveries and crashes followed before it finally became clear, the following Wednesday morning, that there was no hope.

I never want to go through that again, but, just as important, I’d like to prevent anyone else from having to go through it.


I’m suspicious. Has anybody heard of, or used, the other products they’ve come up with (“iRock! Fly Lamp! Nebula 12!”)? Some quick Googling makes me think this is probably all ad-agency-created vaporware.


If the sensor placement is so important, then why are the two dogs we see wearing it not wearing it the same way?

One has the sensors in the front, the second has it in the rear, with his man telling us how important sensor placement on the scalp is.

I have no idea where the technology is, but the continuity is terrible.


All I saw was a mock up that looked like it was made of several headsets - but no demonstration of anything actually working. Or did I miss something?


Uhhhh. . . if I reverse the polarity on the power supply, can I use it to talk to my dog?


YES! I understand my dogs just fine, I can even distinguish (mostly) between, “I need potty NOW!” and “Let’s go sniff!”

I want a device that I can use to communicate complex human thoughts to them, for example:
“If you only poop in this one corner of the yard, I will reward you with sausages.”
“The vacuum cleaner means you no harm, I was only pretending that time I acted like the hose was eating me, and for that I am truly sorry.”
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” (For every time I accidentally bonk one of them, not realizing they’re behind me or under a blanket or whatever.)
“Cars, fear moving cars, seriously buddy, that’s my one message to you. (But don’t fear car rides…)”
“Baths, nail clipping, and tooth brushing are for your own good and not punishments. The more you relax, the sooner it will be over.”


“I’m gonna shit in your hat.”


This leash demeans us both…


It’s all pretty much ‘I’d like to go outside. Outside is more interesting to smell than inside, maybe something new happened since I was there last and while I’m out I’ll pee’. Relief of boredom and bladder are equally necessary for a dog, they perceive the world most acutely through their sense of smell. Exercise or a least movement, plus the company of their faithful human while they make their rounds considered a bonus.


My oldest likes to carry a toy around. When he goes to the door and asks to go out, if he’s holding something, I’ll ask him, “Does the toy need to go tinkle?”
He obediently drops whatever he’s carrying by the door, goes out, takes care of business, then picks it up on his way back in.

We understand each other just fine.


What if you have a German Shepherd or a French Poodle?