Devotees froze dead guru


“He is not dead,” spokesman Swami Vishalanand told the BBC. “Medical science does not understand things like yogic science. We will wait and watch. We are confident that he will come back.”

This Swami sounds like a real oxymoron.


So, ‘yogic science’, do you have any comment on why the totally-not-dead-at-all-no-siree guy needs to be frozen? Was the yogic stench of yogic decomposition becoming a problem?

Come on here, even penny-ante saints with no shot at bodily reincarnation manage alleged miraculous incorruptibility from time to time (especially when conditions favor natural mummification, curiously…) Surely a guy who isn’t even dead can take it?


After a week, is there even a point to cryonics anymore? I guess if your expected means of return is mystical rather than technological, then degradation of the brain may be less important?

1 Like

Bro. BRO. This is yogic science we’re talking about here–not your puny medical science with all its research and its drugs and its concepts and whatnot.

Clearly your aura is not the right color today.


Sounds like they stuck him in a (food) freezer, not any kind of fancy cryonics set-up. They apparently did that rather than embalm him, because they supposedly figured he could come back to life more easily (but he’s not dead!) if he was just frozen. Either that, or it’s all some sort of weird maneuver to try to keep hold of his property by not officially acknowledging that he’s dead dead.

They claim he wasn’t decomposing. That they were trying to decide between embalming and freezing, however, tells a different story.


I’d stake a nontrivial percentage of my net worth on ‘sorry, no nerd rapture, even for the corpsicles’; but I don’t know that we actually know enough about the brain to say for certain. Thanks to lesion studies, we have a (modestly) good sense of what catastrophic damage to localized areas does, and with various degenerative conditions we know, at varying levels of detail, that some widespread but relatively subtle changes are Bad; but ‘people who suffer no localized massive damage but increasingly serious subtle damage across their entire nervous system’ are a test group that has, to date, been notably unhelpful about waking up so we can study them.

Assuming biotechnology/nanites/stem cells indistinguishable from handwaving, you grew that nervous system once, so I don’t see why you can’t grow a replacement; but unless the neural structure that made you ‘you’ is in storage somewhere, it’s overwhelmingly more likely that you’ll regrow a functional, human-spec, but not particularly ‘you’ nervous system.

It’s like trying to restore a bit-rotted medium. You want the damaged file to be restored to full compliance with whatever format it used to be? No problem, we have the spec and the technology. You want it to be the same as it was before? Well, that’s a brute-force search of nigh-unimaginable size through a massive set of candidates, and with no way of identifying when we’ve hit the right one. Good. Luck. With. That.

The only hope for the freezer squad is that, (contrary to what things like ‘major personality changes, usually for the worse, from blast injuries you can only detect with specialized microscopy’ would suggest), ‘you-ness’ is actually remarkably stable, and an extraordinarily large percentage of the possible reconstructions of a somewhat damaged system lead to an acceptably close outcome.

I’ve heard of hot yoga. Cryoga is a new concept to me.


'e’s not dead, 'e’s restin


With beef and game, the term is “seasoning.”


Bhaga & Vita’s Frozen Yogi Crunch?


Well that’s one way to avoid a likely autopsy - claim he’s going to be resurrected, then pop him in the freezer when he starts to smell.

“We are confident that he will come back.”

Well . . . good luck . . . with that.

1 Like

Maybe it’s phase one of a Stranger in a Strange Land scenario. There are a lot of preparations to make for something like that, and you don’t want the guest of honor to spoil in the mean time.

If they end up eating him, it will all make sense.



I heard that he was a strict vagitarian.

1 Like

Meanwhile, Christians everywhere murmur a single disgusted word - “…amateurs.” :smiling_imp:

(To be fair, a lot of major religions believe various figures will “return”. There’s the “Buddha To Be”, there’s the “Mahdi” of Islam, there’s the Zoroastrian “frashokereti”…)