Doncha know? I don’t go out without a hat. And a knife. I’m told those things make me seem old.
Shit, aren’t I forgetful?
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Did you think I was joking?
Would you like a suggested re-phrasing?
Aren’t I told that I seem old because I don’t go out without a hat or knife?
I’m sorry, you know?
Does that remove you from being on double-secret probation?
(Wouldn’t you like to know!?)
Wouldn’t I wear a hat if I could find one that fit my noggin?
Story time: a few years ago I was at a concert, and the two bartenders were talkin to each other, “the women here are hot, but have you been watchin’ the one with the hat? Zomg!!”
To which I but in and reply, “you know that’s my wife, right?”
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Do people really say that? How is it pronounced?
Was it actually your wife?
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Something like “zohmigaw”?
Would it be funny if it wasn’t true?
(When we walked by they were literally red faced)
Do your cow-orkers call you The Architect?
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Don’t they call me the Rawrkitect?
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You don’t subject other people to it, do you?
Isn’t it weird that I’ve been married for 16 years too? Didn’t I get there first in Feb. 99?
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I thought the problem was they never called you back?
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Don’t I assume we’re all the same age-ish?
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Aren’t we all living in the environment that he built?
I.e. old enough to know better?
(Jumps on bed with licorice!!!)
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The Universe is coded in Perl? Is that why no one can figure out how to fix anything or what it’s for in the first place?
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$this->[$i]->{'dont'}->{'think'}=~s/o/yesido/g;
Head hurt yet? Wanna few faux pointers to boot?
